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Reality Just Sucks

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by heaven, Aug 1, 2012.

  1. heaven

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    So here it goes.

    So my mom picked me up from the airport yesterday and i was happy and all until we got into the car and she started talking about this older man that she thought was weird and that she thought he was gay! Then i pretty much said in a awkward voice well idk to finish the conversation as fast has possible. But then she continued to saying this " well i don't care of people sexuality" but in a tone which said i don't care but i don't accept it.So she dropped the subject and everything went well and a few hours later i went shopping with my sister ( i hate shopping but i was trying to be nice so i went with her). So as we were shopping idk but i think i acted flamboyant well mostly because i was tired and i don't know i never thought of myself like that. Then i guess everything went normal and i went to sleep. So today when i woke up i texted my friends saying i was back into town. The friends that i made through myself responded saying hi whatever. But however my friends that I made through my ex dint respond except for one that just said this "FUCK YOU"! The friend that said that was one of my closest friends but she knew my ex before me so i guess she had to sorta stand up for her. I dont know i just dont want to face any of her friends any time soon! And i will probably see her soon because marching band camp is starting on friday!!! This sucks! Anyway thank you for letting me vent to you and if you have any advice please tell me i just feel like all the steps i took went away and that i took 1 million steps back.
     
  2. Night Rain

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    For the friend that said "FUCK YOU", delete her number and never talk to her again. People like that aren't right in the head. If your friends don't treat you well, you may reconsider calling them "friends". Since you have to face them, you can ignore them, or have only basic conversation, no more. Besides, you're 15, which means your ex and her friends are about your age, so they tend to be childish. You'll make great friends later in life.

    Could it be that your mom suspected that you might be gay, so she thought she offended you and tried to make up? Either way, she knew what was the right thing to do, so I guess she accepts it.
     
  3. Delta

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    One, you really need to work on your grammar. Please, I can't take you seriously. This is absurd.

    Two, you're 15. Of course people are going to take sides after a breakup when you're 15. They're just protective of their friend and you put yourself into a zone of hostility. Relax. Focus on your friends that like you.

    Three, what does acting flamboyant during a shopping trip have to do with anything?

    Four, your mom will come around. At least she's trying to be more accepting rather than cursing all gays everywhere.

    Five, make more friends at band camp. It's great.

    Six, again with the grammar. Stop saying idk, please. If you can bear to type out 'I don't know' every time you want to say idk, then you're off the hook. But please stop with the idks.
     
  4. heaven

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    okay i wont say idk anymore and thanks for the advice and my grammar is bad because i never got good grammar lessons in only one language because i moved country's 3 times in my life and they each spoke different languages.And flamboyant is when you act like i guess girly but being a guy!
     
    #4 heaven, Aug 1, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2012
  5. Night Rain

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    Yep, we all know what flamboyant means. What we don't is why you listed it as if it had something to do with why reality sucked.
     
  6. heaven

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    Well I'm not usually flamboyant and I don't want to be flamboyant!
     
  7. Bobbgooduk

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    Being a teenager is shitty - it was shitty when I was a teenager and it hasn't really got any better.

    You have to allow your ex the dignity of keeping some friends - everyone needs to feel they've got people fielding for them. Either they will come round eventually or you'll move on and make new friends.

    Everyone is a bit flamboyant on occasion, especially when we're excited. You just got back from a trip away (complete with photographic souvenirs hehe) and it makes sense that you were excited about being back and getting in touch with people.

    Sometimes even the straightest of people are flamboyant, camp even, which makes it easy for us to misread the clues. People's mannerisms and means of expression do not necessarily indicate sexual preferences.

    It's fine not to want to be camp - it's OK to project the persona you like - we're all actors to a degree and only people we choose to allow in get to know what we are really like.

    It sounds to me like your mum "knows" that there's something she doesn't know yet. I think she suspects and avoiding the issue will probably just fan the fire.

    Ignore YOU for a moment - how do you think she will react? Will she send you off to re-orientation camp? Will she write you out of her will? Will she throw you onto the street?

    From what you've written in other posts, I get the impression that she wouldn't do any of these things. If you told her the truth, would it put her mind at rest because her curiosity has been satisfied, or would she embark on a campaign which would make each moment with her hell?

    It seems to me that you already feel awkward with the lines of discussion she's following - mum's are sometimes very intuitive about their children and won't leave something alone until they're proved right!

    It's just a thought - you put your status as not really ready to come out yet, but I think it's starting to cause you anxiety.
     
  8. heaven

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    Well I guess my mom has always had this like 6th sense about me but as of lately I have been keeping much to myself I guess it like a self- denial thing!