Hi, I have recently come to terms with and I even feel happy about being gay after many years of denial. The trouble is I am not really out. I don't have any gay friends. The process of meeting other guys seems a bit of a challenge. My ideal would be to meet a few guys as friends and see how it feels before before coming out. I have tried dating sites but I am not confident enough to go through with actually meeting anyone. I would really like to have a boyfriend as I feel a bit isolated and all my friends are straight. I realize I will need to start having sex sooner or later for a meaningful relationship but the prospect of gay sex seems very risky. Has anyone else been though this process later in life? Fortunately I am not married and have always remained single because deep down I knew I was gay from an early age and did not want to put a woman through hell in a relationship that wouldn't work. Thanks
At first, you sound like you're very young, and then you say you're not married... I wouldn't recommend dating sites, not that they don't work, but they rarely do for someone who looks for a meaningful relationship. The first thing you should do is to out yourself to your friends. You can't have a secret relationship. It's hard, tiring and bound to fall apart. And when you're out, you are easier to get a date. You can ask your friends point-blank if they're gay (just make it like a joke or something) and they won't be offended (I think?) as they're comfortable around you. You can also wait for some openly gay friend and try hitting on him, or wait for someone to hit on you. In any case, it's better if you're out. Like this, except replace "before" with "after". I think you should be friends with people before considering dating them. Maybe that's just me. And who knows, one of your guy friends may actually be gay (and even like you)!
