Lost, sad and confused

Alright...well I guess I will start at the beginning. I am a girl who realized a year after I moved that i might be bi. I had some new friends and one of them i liked. Which was sort of why I thought I was bi.

So i came out to her online, it turned out, that she was too, as well as my other good friend. Soon after that, my friend found a way to hook us up. And we were happy. It was weird at first but then we started to get really close.
Looking back, months later, I can't help but think how sloppy we were about keeping it hidden. A lot has happened since then and the majority of it weren't so happy. A girl i knew admitted she liked me, and i broke up with my gf1 to go out with her. It was a mistake because I was still in love with my first gf and i messed up both of their lives trying desperately to figure out who i liked, and it was weird because i liked them both. It ended and I went through a lot of pain losing 2 gfs. When my gf1 and i finally got back together this summer we fell back in love.

Everything was great except for the fact that she went on a bunch of school trips and a long vacation, leaving me alone at home for 4 weeks of the summer missing her. When she came home, she would leave again and it was like i was living in a long distance relationship. For anyone who has to do that i am so sorry for you because it sucks. Anyways, when she returned from travels I was shipped off to camp for a week. I missed her the entire time and I couldn't stop thinking about her. The night after I got home I talked to her online for a long time about how much I had missed her and how i would have to go back to camp in only a week and how it was killing me not to see her.
Turned out she was having other thoughts. She was having trouble accepting the fact that she was bi. This was after 6 months of being together... And she told me that she wasn't sure if she could go on in a bi relationship if she couldn't accept herself.

Simply, she dumped me. saying that she "thought a break" was a good idea.
I was so lost. I called her the next night and we talked for hours but got no where. She said she still loved me, but she didn't know if she could do it anymore. I was heartbroken. For the next couple days I called her way too much and talked the my good friend way too much about it. I should have kept my mouth shut because I guess me trying to contact her and make up so much, made her want to take more of a break from me. I can't express to her how much it hurts. And i feel bad talking to her. Yesterday while trying to plan to hang out with her at the park I got the "i think we are better off as just friends" line. I can't help but try to talk to her about it but it always turns out badly. My friend can't help either except for just listen to me.

I am lost, sad and VERY confused. This was a very long thread and I am sorry for having to put you through my misery of reading this but it is what I am going through. I have had so many thoughts of coming out to my family but I have NO idea how they would react, and i know i would end up telling them about her and then they might not ever let me see her again.

I just found this site, it seemed like a place where i can get other opinions and relate to people since I have no one to turn to here at home.