I recently got out of my heterosexual relationship. We had always acknowledged that I was into girls, but it wasn't until I met my now-girlfriend that I realized just how much I did not enjoy heterosexual sex and the relationship in general, and I had really only been using the relationship as a way to put of dealing with myself,my family, and the judging south. We were together a long time and because of circumstances we have to live in the same apartment(different bedrooms). He doesn't understand sexuality and keeps insisting I can "get over it". How do I make him understand?
Tell hime that you don't like cock, period. XD. Pardon my english. ---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2012 at 11:11 AM ---------- By the way, if he doesn't get it now, he might not ever.
^QFT. Not everyone will understand everything. I feel your pain, though - it's really tough having someone denying us the right to be who we really are. Have you tried making the analogy with his sexuality? Like "I'm sure you could get over your heterosexuality too, if you only put a little bit of work in it." If this doesn't work and he keeps pestering you about this, shun him. Not necessarily in a sharp way, but be firm. Tell him you don't need his validation to be sure that you are, in fact, a lesbian and that whatever he thinks, things are not going to change in the near future. Keep reminding him that whenever he starts telling you stuff like this. I don't think it will make him understand, but it might make him stop talking about it, which would be a small victory ^^ Also, keep in mind that when a relationship ends, the person who wasn't the initiator of the parting tends to cling on false hopes that he/she/ze can get his/her/hyr partner back. If you're familiar with the 5 stages of grief, it's the "Denial" stage we're talking about. Here, it's even a double denial, since he both denies the loss of you as a partner and the loss of his vision of you as a straight girl. That might be one of the reasons why he insists so heavily on you "getting over it". If this is the case, time might help.
The reality is, you can try all you want, buut your ex may not 'want' to understand because it means once he has this understanding, then it will hit him that things are really over & done between the two of you. While Im not doubting his genuineness in not understanding, there are some people who stubbornly refuse to accept & understand the present because they just cant handle the change and/or the loss of someone they care about in the relationship. That he himself is also bisexual doesnt really factor into the situation, I think. My advice, you can certainly keep continuing to try & make him understand, but at some point, you may need to face that he may just not be able to understand OR he doesnt want to understand and just wont accept that you are gay & not bi & no longer attracted to him. It may become a matter of eventually accepting the situation and moving on wthout him, which may be unfortunate, but you cant keep trying to explain it to him, as it may or may not be genuine or it could be a conscious attempt by him to keep you in his life, hoping youll come back. Sorry this is kind of negative, but hope it may be a little helpful for you as well, you do know him better than I do, so only you can really be the judge of what the situation is here. (*hug*) I really do hope everything works out tho, & that you are able to keep him as a friend in your life...
