So I've been thinking about changing my last name when I get out of college since my dad was pretty abusive when I was growing up and I don't want to carry his last name around with me for the rest of my life. I'd probably change my middle name also since all the males in that family have the same middle name. I'm concerned that the rest of the family will feel like I'm basically saying a big eff you to them, but I hate the idea of being stuck wih this name. I'm not really close to anyone on his side of the family, but I get along decently with a lot of them. Any thoughts?
Have you changed your screen-name too? I've been married. My wife and I took each other's names so we kept both names rather than just mine. I've been divorced 13 years and never bothered to change it back. At the same time, I took a middle name as I'd never had one. It was all a bit weird as I am Greek Orthodox and we have a name which is only used in Church. I chose my Church name when I was chrismated (confirmed). I chose Bartholomew. It's your name - if you have bad associations with it, make a fresh start. How will you go about choosing a new one? Your mum's maiden name or something like that?
hey. i can relate. i had a bad relationship with my dad and as soon as i turned 18 i changed my surname because i wanted a fresh start and not have to carry around 'bad feelings' from my past anymore as it were. it sounds stupid but i know its only a name change but i am SO much happier. i still kept a family name so i was still a part of the 'family' on my mums side, (im not close to any of my dads side) but im so much happier. i told my dad, he had no problem with it and i told him my reasons but then again we hardly speak so idk if he was genuine or not lol. but if you want to do it then do it. just think it through a lot first though. and dont think you have to explain yourself to your dad about your reasons why anyway. youre an adult you can do what you like. i he doesnt take it well, then thats his probelm not yours.
Yeah, that's the only question I'd have is what would you change it to? I mean, first names are kind of arbitrary (relatively), but last names are definitely a form of lineage and stuff - they come from somewhere, you don't typically just choose it. Otherwise, that seems fair enough. I didn't know you could change your last name outside of marriage anyway (or like, going into the witness protection program or something, lol).
I would change it if you not close with his side of the family... I would change my last name because my mother, but my father sccepted my sister for who she was and I think he would accept me to
In the UK you can legally call yourself ANYTHING provided your intention is not to commit fraud. If you want leagally recognized documentation, like a passport, you have to sign a Statutory Declaration, which is a legal document in which you declare your intention to stop using one name and to start using another. You sign it with witnesses and you send it to the authorities and it's accepted sufficiently for an new passport to be issued in the new name. I have no idea how it works in the States, but I believe there must be a mechanism, given that so many immigrants in the past westernized their names when they arrived in the States.
I've known a number of people that have done legal name changes (first and last names) for various reasons, including the sort of reason you're describing. If you don't have a strong connection with your dad, and feel like letting go of his name also sort of "clears" the energy surrounding his abuse and so forth, then I don't think there's any reason not to do so. I would suggest you think about it and contemplate it for a while before making the decision. I actually know some hippie types that changed their names to stuff like "sunflower rising" so I wouldn't necessarily suggest that sort of thing. I also know a guy whose hippie parents named him "Rainbow" and he kept it even though he's not at all a hippie type. But choosing a name that has some meaning for you, and will bring you happiness and a sense of self is definitely a good thing.
Go for it if you want to. =) I'm torn on if I want to change my name or just both me and my future husband take both names. =P
You know, although I don't wanna do that and have no reason to, I can tell you that that wouldn't work for me provided I have both my parents last names.......hahahah XD,but I comepltly support you and your want to change your surname.
I will most likely take my mother's maiden name, or if not that some other Italian surname, I'm pretty proud of my Italian heritage. I'm not planning on doing it right away, as long as my dad is paying for college I wouldn't dare change my name, he would lose it. I haven't thought about what I would change my middle name to, but if I change my last name that one is definitely going out with it. I feel like if get rid the names that remind of my dad, it might help me let go of some of my issues related to him.
You could always do something like this: Teenager changes name to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined
Or there are the people who named their daughter (for real) Talulah Does The Hula From Hawaii. Child protective services got involved in that one
