Hi.. I've had quite a long, confusing thing with a guy I know called B (its in my few other posts if youre interested) but after about 6 months of mixed signals and people constantly reckoning he might be gay, I started coming out to my friends as bi, so that eventually i could come out to him (that makes it all sound very planned, what actually happened is i got horrendously drunk and exploded to all my good friends and even some randomers!) I eventually told him, we had a mature conversation about it, he is straight and that's that. He never hugs me anymore, or puts a friendly arm around my shoulder like he used to. I guess he doesn't want to lead me on again, or he's just uncomfortable, but I miss him and I basically came out just for him. I've tried to dismiss him as a crush but its been a year I've felt this way really. I came out in late June/early July. I have no idea what to expect when I get back to school. It feels worthless coming out now. And worse still, now I think I may not even like girls at all, which, socially, will just push me further out the door. I guess I'm just venting here. Any advice welcome.
Hi there! Even though you are disappointed and probably feel the need to punch the pillows and let it all out, one good thing has come of it. You started coming out, and be yourself. Does it matter that you came out to your friends as bi? Not at all! How did they react when you told them? It is okay to go back and come out as gay, and say that you have learned more things about you and you have realized that your feelings are stronger towards guys. Sexual identities are fluid and they can change. There are also your feelings for him. From the things you have mentioned, it seems that you do have stronger feelings for him. He might have withdrawn now, and is (as you have indicated) a lot more cautious around you, which in some ways is doing you a favour. It might not seem like it now, but once you start moving on, you will come to realize that. In moving on, maybe try to get to know others with whom there is a chance that it will work out. Join a LGBT support/social group (if possible) or activities in your community that will allow you to get out there, and get to know people. Take the start in your coming out, as a motivation to continue on that path, and find the person with whom it will work out. (*hug*)
