I can't decide and have thought 'bout it for a while. I don't think he's homophobic, he might think gay people are weird though. I'll just say I'm 24 still live at home, the economy isn't very friendly right now. Shuffling between music and possibly videography maybe for weddings down the road and other stuff possibly. So I am not financially independent (to afford housing or an apartment now) tho I guess in the worst case I could live in my car haha. So really I don't want my parents to find it but I'm wondering if I could tell my younger brother without it getting back to them, I know it would get to my older brother too who I know also doesn't care if people are gay or not cause I've heard him talk about that stuff before. My family is also religious so that's why I don't think my parents, at least my mom would understand and I wouldn't want it getting to my neighbors parents who are also crazy religious. ;/, but I don't see why anyone would tell them. What do you think? I know no one can judge for me the situation but I'm like right on the border of telling or just not, but I sort of want to just to tell someone, I could also tell an old friend of mine online lol. I don't know what would be the point though. Thanks
It sounds like you actually have a lot of people you could tell - either of two brothers, a friend, and so on. Plus, it sounds like you have a pretty good idea how these people will react - the thing you seem to be worried about is who they'll tell afterwards, and how word might get around (how would your neighbor's parents even find out? From your parents?). Honestly, I would start with the person you think is most likely to respond positively and most likely not to tell other people before you're ready (usually goes hand-in-hand, but it never hurts to specify). Give yourself the chance to take it slow if you want, and build up your confidence about the process, person by person - the more people you've come out to, the easier it will be to get over the main hurdles eventually.
Well, it's my parents first who I wouldn't want knowing, but neighbors parents finding out would likely lead to mine finding out. My brother is friends with at least one or two of my neighbors so I guess it depends if he would tell one of them, it's possible he wouldn't. Since I haven't told my brother before I'm not sure how he'd react, maybe he'd respect not to tell people, tho I'm sure it's bound to get out to some. So I guess the younger neighbors telling their parents maybe. But then again they smoke weed sometimes and it's not like they tell their parents all about how they get high, though I think they might've smoked with their dad once.
If you decide to tell your brother, talk to him. He knows how your parents are and that probably they would not be very accepting. So try to put him in your position because that's how he will know how hard it is for you to come out to your parents and maybe that will keep him from telling anyone. My case is a bit like yours because my mom is very religious and I don't think she will be accepting, but I want to come out to my sister 'cause she is a very open minded person and I know she will not tell my parents 'cause she knows that it's my decision if i want to tell them or not.
I'd just like to share that I'm 24, living at home, and looking to start coming out. For my own self, my brother would be the first person to come out to by process of elimination and lack of close friends (in fact, if I were to tell someone else it would be an old friend online). I'll share how I'm thinking about it. My reasons for telling him would be that he seems like he would be reasonably understanding and accepting. Also, he may be useful support because there's no other person who can understand my family's dynamics or relationship with our parents. My concerns lie in the fact that he likes to deflect to other issues during arguments and disagreements with my mother. I'm afraid I could be an ideal deflection. I do, however. plan explaining and emphasizing that it's my coming out and I will do it when I decide and that he cannot, and under no circumstances will not, take that decision away from me.
