|3rd Aug 2012, 11:06 PM||#1|
Join Date: Aug 2012
Bisexual manic depressant
I'm currently in a relationship with a woman I love with all my heart but I'm realizing that doesn't change the fact that I'm still bisexual. I mean, I can't just change who I am. She doesn't like when I remind her of that. But theres kind of a longing to want to come out to all my friends now you can imagine how she would feel about that. This thread probably makes zero sense to anyone reading it. Most of my friends just assume I'm straight. And maybe its selfish for me to want to come out to everyone when she would have a lot to answer for. Its not like I'm going to leave her for anyone regardless of gender. I would like to get into a good therapist and talk some of this out. I'm also bipolar and experiencing a current episode of depression for which I am currently undergoing electro-convulsive therapy at the hospital for, I go in for my 9th treatment Monday. I am so confused with who I am and how I feel. I mean I'm not confused that I love my girlfriend that I know but I'm still confused. And I'd like to re-iterrate that I will always stay faithful to my girlfriend.
|4th Aug 2012, 07:24 AM||#2|
I do it MY way ...
Gender: Tomboyish female
Orientation: 95% Straight / Kinsey 1
Out Status: N/A
Location: South Africa
Join Date: May 2012
Re: Bisexual manic depressant
I'm also both bisexual as well as bipolar (type II) and coping just fine. Sure, there are days when everything just seems completely insanely confusing but I get through it.
I think I can thank being bipolar for a big part of my whole questioning stage and frequent paranoid thoughts regarding my sexuality, as I think we experience it more intensely. I've only recently come out to my doc and it helps if he knows what's going on in my life and head, especially something this big. He knew I was questioning a long time ago but I don't think he really understood what I was going through.
To get back to you though, I think you should come out when you feel ready, and don't do it according to how (you think) other people would react to it. In the end, it's you who have to live with yourself and having to live a lie is no way to go about it. Your girlfriend is probably still coming to terms with it herself, hence the negativity when she's reminded of it. Just come out whenever you feel you're ready, and I'm sure your friends will be supportive. It really does get easier the more you do it. Best of luck to you
Simplicity Lies In Acceptance Of Reality
"Never Sacrifice Who You Are Just Because Someone Has A Problem With It"
|4th Aug 2012, 11:49 AM||#3|
Proper Gayer type
Join Date: Aug 2012
Re: Bisexual manic depressant
It seems to me that you need to have a conversation with your partner.
You need to understand why she has misgivings about you telling people that you are bisexual because it could be any number of reasons.
If you love this woman and wish to spend time with her, perhaps even the rest of your life, she has to accept who you are properly and not hope that it will go away.
I wonder if her issues are about fear - fear that you will leave her if everyone knows your sexuality. I have met plenty of people that believe that bisexuality is merely a stop gap before full blown homosexuality is realised.
If that is her fear, you need to discuss this with her because, it very probably isn't the case(for the record, I have also known a few gay men that toyed with bisexuality, so it's not an absolutely unwarranted fear) and she needs that reassurance.
Then it might also be that her fear is her friends will view her differently, as though there is something wrong with her and her choice of men. Again, this is common from some of the people I have met. This one is slightly harder to reassure someone about - the best way to do it, I have found, is to have a frank discussion with your partner and mutually decide which of your friends would be the best to "come out" to.
You don't have to choose everyone, just choose one person, someone she can talk to but, more importantly, someone who will not judge her for the choices she has made.
I fully appreciate that coming out is a personal thing, but when you started a relationship with this woman, because you weren't exactly out, you gave her the ability to not have to deal with this, and now because you want to take that away, you have to discuss it with her.
The simple truth is a relationship is a partnership and while you may have secrets you wish to tell the world, you have to come to the decision together because it affects both of you.
I'M TINY, I'M TOONY I'M ALL A LITTLE LOONEY.
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