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Feel insane

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jvn95, Aug 4, 2012.

  1. jvn95

    Full Member

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    Hey,

    So I've recently I have been wrestling if I am gay or Bi,

    I just can't leave myself alone, now I am questioning If I am trans, This thought scares the living daylights out of me.

    I mean, Now I'm not even asking myself "Do I like boys or girls" it's " AM I a boy or a girl."


    I've never have any problem that I am a guy, I've never had a desire to be girl or dress like one.

    Sometimes when I'd masturbate I'd imagine myself as a girl, but only sometimes. Is that Normal?

    I think that I'm freaking out because I am redirecting all my anxiety from being gay to some unnecessary fear. When I imagine me with a guy, I'd be a guy too. I don't really see myself as a girl. But I don't see myself not as one either?

    I've been so stressed over this summer about coming out, and the responses I will get, Am I freaking out about that and redirecting it to this?

    I just want to be happy again, but living the "straight" life seemed out of place, and being gay, I feel like there is nobody out there for me and it make me depressed.

    I feel like I am being OCD and strange. Everything is cloudy and all I want to do is sleep.

    Someone help?
     
  2. blightedsight

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    I think we've all, at some point, questioned things about ourselves, those fundamentals that for the rest of your life you'll take for granted.

    The thing is, sometimes, those questions do beget answers we didn't expect. Now, there is no easy way to come to the answers, and it certainly isn't a straight forward situation, but the only thing you can do right now is ask for help.
    I know thats what you're doing here, and plenty of people will be on hand to give you all the advice and support they can, but what you really need to do is contact your local doctor/physician. They will be able to direct you to professionals(not necessarily health care but guidance in the LGBT community) who can help you work through what is going on in your mind and why.

    Anything else I have to offer, really, are merely platitudes about my own life and existence and how they may relate to you.
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Phew, deep breaths. I know everything feels very overwhelming right now, but the hurry of figuring everything out is all in our head. There is no rush in having everything together RIGHT NOW :slight_smile:

    This is actually more common than you think. For most people being "the girl" in their fantasies is more about being vulnerable, submissive and being pleased by a more dominant person. Do you think that can be a possibility for you?

    The hard part about this question is "what does it mean to feel like a girl?" Some people might say to feel feminine, pretty and gentle or even to have boobs or a vagina. And in reality, the whole thing is much more complex than we really understand.

    So what does that mean for you? As hard as it is, try to not give it a label right now. Just be yourself, whatever that may be, and try to enjoy it. Give yourself permission to feel however you want to feel.
     
  4. jvn95

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    I feel a bit better about the masturbation thing, and think that is defiantly a possibility.

    I just picture myself as the gentle, submissive, and the "bitchy" one in a relationship. And I guess I have been questioning alot lately because alot of people around me are saying that only "a man and a women" can be together.

    I was quite fine until now, I guess my mind is saying, "well if that's wrong, then if I'm a girl, being with a guy is okay." Which tricks me. I don't get it.

    huff, I need to calm down about this NONSENSE, But I can't:frowning2:
     
  5. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Its normal to have all those crazy thoughts going around. Your brain is trying to process all the new information and its just trying to give you some comfort. Even though its not always effective :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    But its fine. From what you have said it doesn't sound like you have any gender identity problems at all so don't worry. And even if you did, there is nothing wrong with that. You can still live a happy life either way :slight_smile: