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I want to die

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Geist, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. Geist

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Last friday i suddenly became very depressed and actually wanted to kill myself. I hadn't had anykind of suicidal thoughts for about a month now but i was suddenly overwhelmed. I told my brother and mother about it who became very worried about me and removed the knives that i had kept in my nightstand. I spent the rest of my weekend waiting around waiting for my friends to call and ask to hang out. I wanted to call them myself but ever since i told one of them that i was gay i have been worried that he might treat me differently and be uncomfortable hanging out with me, so i decided that to just wait for them to call me because they are always the ones who call me asking if i want to hang out. This is the first weekend that i have spent alone in a long long time and i get the feeling that my friends don't want anything to do with me any more and right now even though i doubt i will go through with suicide i just want to die. :icon_sad:
     
  2. Louise

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    (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Try not to let this get you down too much. There are always two sides to each story. Your friends probably don't know how to react, it is not a question of them rejecting you necessarily.

    When my son came out to me this summer I spent two weeks saying 'should I talk to him about it? does he want me to? what does he want/need from me? will he be embarassed? will it just make things worse?...' untill I worked up the courage to talk to him and he was just Soooo relieved!

    So maybe your friends are a bit in the same situation... they are waiting for you to say something (this is your life after all) and you are waiting for them to behave exactly as if you hadn't said anything!!! It can be a bit of a no win situation unless someone makes the first move.

    Call or send an MSN to your best mate and just ask him if you two are fine and if he is ok with what you told him and take it from there. There is nothing worse than sitting at home all alone letting dark thoughts invade your mind. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
  3. Bader

    Bader Guest

    oh! well the friend thing happend to me ,i told my best friend that iam gay and he suddenly like started acting diffrent and stuff ,it really crushed me caue i wasnt very social so losing my best friend would devstate me anyway i say talk to him as Louise previously mentioned ,and see how he really feels about it ,but remmber its not your fault ,you cant help being what you are ,
    if they cant accept u for what u are then screw em and find better friends that would accept u for who u are ,
    and i know depression sucks ,just remmber its gona be better later ,its only a phase and you are not alone ,and you do matter ,someone dose care and theres someone that will miss you.
     
  4. Grantious

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    hey hey,

    I've felt that way before, it was not a good way to go!!, but there is help... I've found if you occupy yourself with going out it makes them go away :-(
    Sorry I could not be more help!.
    Catch....
    Add me on msn if you need someone to talk 2
     
  5. Jim1454

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    This is a really difficult 'turning point' in your life - and I think it's quite normal for you to have really strong and conflicting emotions. (*hug*)

    Remember that while you're sitting at home waiting for your friends to call you, your friends may be waiting at home waiting for you to call them. They have reason to wonder if you've changed as well, because you've made a pretty significant announcement to them in the last little while. They maybe also need some reasurance that you're still the 'same old you' that wants to hang out with your 'straight' friends.

    I'm REALLY glad that you shared how you were feeling with your brother and your mom. And you've shared it with us here. There is NO REASON for you to feel that you're alone - that's the WORST feeling to have at a time like this. Stay close to those that you know love you.

    Working with a counsellor / therapist might be really helpful. Joining some kind of support group for gay youth might also be a good idea right now.

    Good luck. (*hug*) You can always PM me if you want to chat.
     
  6. Rizpaz

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    Talk to your friends. Ask them how they feel. If they don't like you anymore because you're gay, then they don't deserve to be your friends.
    And dont' kill yourself. It may seem like the easy way out, but it isn't.
    (*hug*)
     
  7. Paul_UK

    Paul_UK Guest

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    I completely agree with Louise here. They are probably waiting for you to call as they aren't sure whether you still want to hang around with them.

    You've been working on this for some time whereas to them it's all new and unexpected, and they probably don't know what to do and say, so they are letting you make the first move.

    Call them!
     
  8. biisme

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    honey, please don't do anything.

    :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

    everyone on here is right. why don't you try calling them?
     
  9. wherewulfe

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    wanting to die is a basic human emotion shocking. people often go through tough times and they want to give up. for you it was being alone. now im alone fairly often and you get used to, but i'd hate to see someone else slip into darkness so find something to occupy your time til the weekend is over, then during the week, talk to friends about something to do