So I have been friends with this guy for almost 3 years now and he and I talk a lot and play games and stuff together. He recently found a girlfriend which I was okay with at first he told me everything would be the same, I have feelings for him both icky love feelings and those of just wanting to be friends but since his girlfriend whom I have never met came into play those feelings of love are more on the surface and I am becoming jealous of him and the girl I want to abort those feelings especially because I know he will not reciprocate the feelings that I have for him. I don't really know what to do it just feels wrong to me because of how close we are and how now that he has a girlfriend nothing is the same he doesn't talk to me like he did before and doesn't ever bother to message me or call me back when I do now(he wasn't know for it in the past but would make an effort) and now I just have all this tangled up love feelings and ugh it is very difficult for me to deal with. I just do not know what to do or how to sort through the unwanted feelings. Also I always knew he was straight but I mean he doesn't know I am gay no do I want to tell him because I know his general feelings on the subject and I don't want to put more blocks than there are right now.... Sorry about the rant but this is one of the few places I can go for help and support.:help:
Keeping friendship and love apart can be difficult, especially in the situation you describe. Your friend now has a girlfriend and despite what he said about things not changing, another player in the game is obviously going to make a major difference. The only comfort I can give you is that friendships change for all of us. There were friends I saw every day when I was a teenager that I haven't seen or heard of in 20 years now - it's part of a natural process. Similarly, I have friends NOW I would never have dreamed of having when I was younger. The secret for coping now is to realize that your friend has not rejected you as a friend, he is just otherwise occupied and you have to let him spend his time with his girlfriend and not to begrudge it him. You need to find other friends - easier said than done - but, if we leave the romantic side out of the equation for now - you just miss having your friend around to spend time with and share an interest with. Is there somewhere you can go where you will meet people who share your gaming interests? Is there are online forum connected to your games which you could use to find another games partner? The romance side is difficult. Even if he did not have a girlfriends, the probablility is that he wouldn't have been looking for a relationship with you. It's painful to love someone who doesn't love you back, but it's not something that you cannot recover from. Just don't brood over it. Accept the facts and try to move on because, ultimately, you are the one who is suffering if you allow it to continue as it is.:smilewave
Thank you that made me feel a great deal better. Yeah it wasn't really a big deal until today when he was hanging out with me and then said I will be back later and then left me in skype and then never ever came back I sat there for like an hour or 2 before I said forget it and then he turned his computer off and didn't even say a word it really hurt alot and I don't think he knew that it did but I think I should talk to him about atleast the whole leaving me for 2 hours and not saying a word to me when he came back when he turned off his computer. As for the romantic feelings, it sucks and I know he wouldn't ever feel the same way back but me dreaming about it likely made the feelings stronger and worse. But that too shall pass with time and yeah I just will clog my life with other things that will be more fun in the long run for me! thanks!
In this situation, the Dutch would say "Sterkte" - strength. The job's not easy but it has to be done!
