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Coming out advice, Dad doesn't believe in Bisexuality

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by wonderingdave01, Aug 5, 2012.

  1. Hey everybody! I'm new to this forum. I'm bisexual but I'm not out to anyone except a few of counselors/therapists I've had in my life. I want to come out to my family first but I have an issue. Even though my mom and dead are both liberal and accepting of gays, my father doesn't believe in bisexuality.

    He's a really hard-headed person and hates it when someone disagrees with him. I'm afraid that he will either think I'm exaggerating, or going through a phase, or "gay in denial". My problem with this is that if I want to date a girl, I'm afraid he's going to tell her to break up with me "because I'm gay in denial" and to not waste her time.

    He's already told me that if even though he would love me, and not shun me or anything liek that, he wouldn't believe me if I said I was bi. Any advice?
     
  2. speedracing22

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    I have a few friends that think the same way, and think you can only be one or the other. I personally don't let it bother me. Because this is your dad, I can see why you are concerned about it, but you can't really change what he thinks.

    YOU know what you are, and that's all that matters. And if you are dating a girl or a guy and they really like you, they won't care about something your dad says to them. So I wouldn't worry about it from that angle.
     
  3. alexi12

    alexi12 Guest

    I think if you are bi... and he is generally accepting, he will probably realize over time that you aren't kidding about being bi... after all, if he is accepting... why should it matter if you would date people of both genders? He'll probably be happier to see you happy with whoever works for you :slight_smile:
     
  4. Fallible

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    I'm going through a similar situation. I've been having gender issues (I'm possibly transgender somehow), and my mother has told me before that she doesn't believe in transgendered people. It's almost like karma how that works out, haha. But yeah, I'd just say go for it, tell him you're bisexual. Most likely he'll disagree with you at first, but once he sees that you're genuinely happy being who you are, he'll probably see that he was wrong and accept you for you. Best of luck, Fallible
     
  5. angiemari

    Regular Member

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    I agree. He will either come to terms with it or he won't you can't make him change his mind that will have to happen on its own. And once he sees your happy then most likely that will help. And like someone else said that if the person you are with cares for you then it won't matter because they will be confident in your feelings for them. You know who you are and that's what matters
     
  6. Bobbgooduk

    Bobbgooduk Guest

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    He will see by the fact that you bring girls AND boys home to meet the parents that bizexuality really DOES exist - how can he argue with the evidence? I'm not suggesting you have to set out to prove him wrong, but he has a conviction that a person is either one thing or another - you can't be half-way.

    The fact that he's accepting will allow him to learn from the evidence of his own eyes - I don't think you need to force the issue with him - just let it come naturally.

    In the meantime, congratulations on having relatively COOL parents! You trained them well! :thumbsup::smilewave
     
  7. messiaen

    Regular Member

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    By the sound of things your parents are pretty accepting of all people and perhaps if you did come out to them then your Dad would support you anyway....

    I think some advice on here already is good. Just be happy with who you are. If you meet a guy you want to see then do so and the same with a girl. Let it all happen on your terms and i'm sure your parents will be happy for you.

    Hope it all works out.

    M