So this is kinda hard to type,I don't know why but here goes... Me and my friend (a guy) recently experimented with each other (for the second time). And It was good and all I liked it during but then after I felt Dirty and Guilty..I don't know why. Also on top of this I started to question myself like maybe its all hormones driving me to believe that i'm gay. I mean i'm sure that i'm gay,(I dont get attracted to girls in anyway,only guys) Has this happened to anyone before?? I need help :/
Yep, the whole guilt trip RIGHT after you finish was horrible. It happened to me right after either experimenting with friends or porn. I would blame myself, tell myself I would never do it again....and then of course the next day I would be at it again. The thing is that you have unconsciously built certain walls to prevent you from acknowledging you are gay. Even after you say "oh, makes sense I'm gay" your brain is sort of slow in destroying those old walls. So when things like that happen your brain starts freaking you out. The thing that worked for me was to breathe and tell myself that no, it was def okay and that nothing was wrong. Sort of when you are scared of something silly, but you still have to tell yourself to be calm because you know its nothing even though ti feels scary as faa.
That happened to me during my relationship with my first girlfriend. It actually occurred during the actual session, which made things awkward between us. I felt so guilty that I even cried on my way home at like, four in the morning. I had to get away from her even though it wasn't my girlfriend's fault. I completely freaked out and breathing seemed to help, but after that, it never happened again.
I'm told that part of it -- with men, anyway, I'm less familar with wiring for women -- is hardwired. We're biologically set up to feel a certain sense of discomfort after the act is completed, which provides a built-in rest period where our body can recuperate before being ready to, uh, go again. Without this, people might just have sex continually and never stop... and, ancestrally speaking, that would not have been a good thing. The interesting thing is... once you know this and realize it and talk about it with others, the guilty feelings seem to go away, so obviously we have a certain amount of conscious control over the "hardwired" tendencies.
I feel that way all the time. Whether it's porn or talking to gay or bi friends online, once I'm 'through' I feel all...weird. I won't talk to the guys, the porn's turned off right away, it's weird. Honestly I don't get how straight guys can watch porn movies for hours on end.
