Song lyrics aside, I'm having a relationship problem. I really do love my girlfriend, and I'm comfortable with her. However, I just can't see us being happily married. We're just two people who are too different. We don't have that much in common, besides loving each other a lot. She still thinks that we could work through that and end up being together forever, but I'd really rather we don't get married. It's just got too much of a gap to be a happy marriage. People don't stay in love for 50 years just from being in love. There's got to be common ground, and things to talk about, and agreement in personality and goals, and even though we're pretty happy together now, we're missing those. I know that we will eventually have to break up and move on, since we're such a mismatched couple, but my question is, do we have to do it now? We're only 18, no one's getting married for at very least 7 years. We're comfortable with each other. We have relative harmony. However, we also should probably spread out and start dating other people in college while we have the chance. I just don't know what to do. Do I go through the huge amount of pain and sadness now, before college, so that there's more time to experiment and branch out then, or do I stay in it and bask in the stability until we've both made our transition to college, then break it off when the time feels right after that. I don't want to short myself the happiness I could feel now, since the big button issues between us don't even really come into play in quite some time, but I also don't want to make it so difficult to leave that I can't do it and I stay in a relationship we'll both be unhappy in in the very long run. We've talked about this a lot, and my girl really doesn't want me to go. I don't really want to go either, I just know it can't last for the rest of our lives even though it's okay now. By the way, we're long distance, so going to different colleges changes nothing between us in terms of distance. I know being in college will change quite a bit, though. What do I do? Do I stay until my heart says otherwise? Do I stay for a little while longer and then break it off? Do I break it off now? Please help.
As most of the post is discussing how and when it would be a good idea to break up with your gf, you seem to already have an idea of what you want to do. As far as when to do it, some thoughts. Long distance is rough, and going to college may very well introduce a lot of new variables, but (what I think is) the fundamental question stays the same: is this relationship making a positive impact on both of your lives, and is it making you happy right now? Going through times of re-evaluation is pretty normal (and healthy) in a relationship. If the answer to the fundamental question(s) turns out to be no - and that could possibly be caused by distance, or college complications - then it's okay to have doubts about whether to continue the relationship, and even to end the relationship, if you feel strongly enough about said doubts. It doesn't have to be a judgment on the other person's character or personality. But if you want something to focus on, I would give that a shot. Going to college single works for some people, going in with a significant other works for others. Some people are okay with distance, others aren't. There aren't any hard and fast rules, so try to focus on how it's impacting your life at the moment.
