Ok so I'm bisexual and there are not a lot of people who know about it. My husband for one is one of them. I guess that when I was younger because my husband was the one I wanted to be with I beer felt the need to express that I was. I know I knew it back then I didn't deny it I knew I had feelings for girls heck there was a girl I would always flirt with and she flirted back but then I found out she had a girlfriend and it hurt a little bit. But anyways lately it's been bothering me that I haven't let that side out. I've recently just told a good friend of mine who I knew would be ok with it and my niece has known for a couple years. My marriage has been very rocky these last few years. Actaually for about 7-8 years he was an alcoholic an has anger issues and was verbally abusive. For years I just let things go pretending things were good. I gained a ton of weight and then 4 years ago i had gastric bypass surgery. Losing that weight helped with my self consciousness and helped me take a stand and kick him out cause he wasn't shaping up. He's been working on it we almost did get a divorce but I decided to give it another chance. It was good at first and then all of a sudden it's like little things are coming back. His anger looks like its starting again, and he's always getting upset when I go out and he's def not helping me with my keeping the weight off I feel like he wants me to be that fat depressed wife that won't go anywhere. He's also jealous of my niece we are super close and got even closer when she told me she was gay and I her I was bi he constantly says its weird and I know he's jealous of her he's even jealous of one of my cats. I know my situation will get worse if I tell him I'm bi. But part of me really wants to tell him I feel like I need to let myself be free. I feel like if I tell him that he will say that I'm not bi I'm gay and that's why he feels like I'm not attracted to him and he will leave and honestly I'm not sure if that's what I want. Part of me wants my husband back the man he was but them part of me is so unhappy and scared bc I have no car no job and no means to get a car at this point and I'm afraid to be on my own. I know I've rambles but it's been dying to come out of me for so long.
Well, it sounds like you're not happy with how your marriage is right now, and that is more than reasonable. Marriage is a equal partnership between two people - and I don't get the impression that your marriage is like this. It's not healthy/positive for you to be in a relationship with someone who gets upset when you leave the house - that seems like a controlling personality to me. That's just my personal opinion though. If I was in your situation, I would honestly give him an ultimatum - be a better husband (perhaps going to see a marriage counselor may help with this) or the marriage is over. It really doesn't sound like you're happy with how this marriage has turned out. You mentioned that you don't have a car/a job...is there family you can stay with if you and your husband do break it off? Also, about your sexuality...I believe you need to consider what's worse: not telling your husband you are bi, or telling him and potentially risk a divorce? I think if you're afraid to tell him because you believe he will react negatively, then he may not be the best person for you to be married to...just my thoughts. Really, though, you need to figure out if you're happy in this marriage. Not if your husband is happy, but you are happy. Only you can answer that question. I'm not married (and I don't intend to ever get married) but hope this helps, even if it's only just a little bit.
We have 4 kids so staying with family would be an option cause theres no room for all of us. I don't have a job cause of the kids school schedule my youngest is 4 and he doesn't really talk so he receives services and another son has a mild form of autism. So when we got got back together to try to make things work we decided to have me stay home. I have talked about getting a job and he says he's ok with it (doesn't really seem active in it) but with the one car I have to figure out how to make it work his schedule is never the same and he works 6 1/2 days so I need to find something and try to make it so I can do it on my own. I've debated on going back to school as well. No I don't think I'm truly happy I think so much has happened and it was a brief time where it was looking better but it's coming back and I not sure if I want to live like this all the time. Constantly worried he's gonna get mad feeling like I can't go anywhere. The more and more I think about telling him I'm bisexual the more I think his reaction would be to leave. Not because he has issues with that sort of thing but because he will use it to blame me for the relationship not really working and that I'm not attracted to him.
