So, ever since 8th grade (I'm going into 10th), I've had some minir depression and anxiety. Not enough to send me to therapy, however I had a very terrible experience in 8th grade that really flared up my depression. Because of that I basically stick hold of my friends as much as possible. However lately I've felt alone and by extension really clingy. See currently I'm at band camp *cue 'This one time at band camp...' jokes*, and I feel like a total outsider. My best friend follows this complete asshole Chris around like a lost puppy, nothing new it's just so annoying. Even this morning when we were standing together, getting ready to march and Chris showed up and went to the front of our line, so Alex just went right up there. Basically he hangs out with everyone but me. Sadly, this is nothing new. I even confronted him about it last week. Me: I really don't wanna go to band camp A: Band camp is fun (This is where it gets good) Me: Not when your best friend hardly talked to you all summer and probabky won't hang out with you at all... A: You can't tell me what imma do Me: So I can't say that you've hardly talked to me all summer? Whish is true btw (I got him!) A: You can't say what I will do Me: I was saying what you've done. It just really annoys me that he's so blind to all of this. Like how can't he see that our friendship is crumbling to pieces? Now it's come to this week and like nothing's happened. Barely talked, eating lunch with all these people who I don't like. So it sucks. I've talked about it with my mom many times and she's said on multiple occasions 'just forget about him' which I know is the smart thing to do. I just feel like if I drop him I'll be all alone. Most of my other friends right now are seniors and will be graduating this year sadly. Two of them I've been spending my lunches with, which is fun, but not like my best friend. I put on a really nice I'm-completely-fine-with-my-best-friend-ditching-me-for-total-freaks face. Do you guys think I'm being way too clingy to him? I don't wanna be, I just wanna be his friend. Like seriously he won't even text me back anymore. P.S. I am actually proud of myself, I've confronted him twice this summer about things that've bothered me, thanks to my friend Nate's urging, and I feel better but I also feel like it's driving us more apart if I do. :/
I understand your situation. It does sound a tad clingy. Thing is, if he is distancing himself, there is most likely a reason. You could be causing a certain amount of drama (in his mind at least) and so he may be trying to get away from that. Or you are just too attached and he wants space. Or he simply is very sociable and friendly with a lot of people. I think the important thing is to realize if you are really his best friend, he won't stop being your friend. He will still be there. Try not to over think things or stress yourself out. I can't tell you exactly what to do or what is going on since I have very little information to go off of. You can always ask him if there is something wrong but from my personal experience, making any big deal out of something like this just doesn't help at all. I went through that once and I'm pretty sure my friend just got annoyed. He told me I was basically acting like a clingy girlfriend... I just let him do his thing, and eventually we kinda went back to normal.
This is amazing.I seem to have just come out of the same thing with a beautiful friend my heart is longing for. Infact generally, it appears to be my biggest weakness. My friend,its not easy,but summon up courage. All you need to do is keep a distance for a while. Honestly its not easy, but it works. Maybe a week or two will, he will definitely call you....trust me. I will be back to you much later in the day on this matter cheers
I can't say for you whether or not you should "ditch" him, but I'll just talk about some things that happen if you decide to go that route. Like BZ said, he might be distancing himself for a good reason. It might be you, it might not be you. But the thing is, it almost sounds like if he's not being a good friend, you're attaching yourself partly because he has that title of "best friend". Now to me, I've never liked the idea of having "best friends", because it puts an unnecessary emphasis on a friendship IMO. But anyway, what I'm getting at is... would he still have that title if all you knew of him was how he's acting right now? I'd guess not. You said you're worried that if you stop being friends with him that you might be without friends. Yeah, it's a possibility. But the thing is by being "friends" with him, you're spending your time and energy trying to be with him that you could otherwise spend having fun. People make friendships (usually) based on proximity and similarity. You're stuck in a camp with a bunch of people in close-quarters who all have an interest in music. Odds are if you're genuinely open to the idea and try having fun, you'll make more friends. Remember that there aren't really defining moments where friendships "are born", they just sorta develop as people interact long enough. And if you're spending most of your time not interacting with other people, they can't develop, right? I think the other thing too is that people don't really like being called on what they're doing "wrong" in a friendship, if you get what I mean. That said, you also don't need to be talking with someone every single day to be friends with them. Some of my closest ("best") friends are actually the ones I've hardly seen or talked to all summer... it's just that when we do get in touch, we usually make it a good time. My best guy friend/crush guy from your other threads, well, he's overseas for the summer. He suggested we Skype often to keep in touch, and we've not Skyped once. I know we're still friends because we've sent a couple messages back and forth, but that communication wasn't nearly as necessary as I originally felt it to be, you know? Anyway, hopefully some of that made some sense.
Just to clear some things up: My band camp is at my high school, not an actual camp, so we're there only from 9-5 each day. Other than the incoming freshmen, I know a lot of the people there and don't get me wrong I have friends there just not 'best' friends (aka close). The sophomores numbers have dwindled down to around 15 so my options of my grade friends is slim. My only real other friends there are from our school's bowling team (pro-bowler beeetchesss!! jk). Note: I did actually spend time with Alex today, we had lunch together and snuck onto a playground. So I guess things are decently good.
