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still depressed

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by loststar, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. loststar

    Regular Member

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    so how do you get over this...a year ago on this friday my exgirlfriend passed away unexpectantly. she had text me a few hours before she passed away and I didn't answer because I had a long work day and figured I would just text her the next morning. Instead, 20 minutes into my 11 hour work shift I received a call from my best friend telling me she had passed away. 2 weeks before she passed away she had sent me a message saying that she will love me even if it kills her. I miss her so much and I am still having the dreams that shes going to knock on my door and say just kidding. I cant even get any sleep because everytime I get these dreams I wake up in a panic and run to my door hoping it was true. my heart isnt healing from this and I dont know how to help the process. can anyone help me out on this please???
     
  2. Bobbgooduk

    Bobbgooduk Guest

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    (*hug*) Sorry is all I can say. I have a friend who lost his partner unexpectedly too. I saw how much it hurt him, and how much he also regrets not making that last phone-call. His partner died of meningitis during the night, while he was away for the week visiting me. He didn't find him until he went home. The phone-call wouldn't have saved him, but it hurt all the same that he hadn't made it.

    It takes time and patience with any loss but it does eventually get easier, honestly. You go from thinking about them every minute to every five minutes and so on until you think of them at special times of the year or on their birthday. Friday will be very hard, so stay close to us here.

    My father was very special to me, and I cried for 12 hourse solid when he died 18 years ago. If I smell cigar smoke, I think of him because "Santa" always left him 5 cigars on the tree, the only time he smoked cigars. So cigar smoke conjures up Dad and Christmas instantly for me.

    I understand your loss is different, more like my friend's loss, but for him too the hurt is less sharp with time.

    Welcome to EC, by the way, and keep chatting when you feel down. (&&&)
     
    #2 Bobbgooduk, Aug 7, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2012
  3. pinklov3ly

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    I'm so sorry, I know you must be going through hell right about now. I lost someone close to me unexpectedly and I had just seen him the day before he passed away. He didn't even get a chance to meet my son, so in remembrance I used his first name as my son's middle name. It's hard during my Mom's birthday because they shared the same birthday. Instead of being sad on that day, we pour him a drink and (!) Perhaps, planting a tree or flowers will help, but it's going to take to time to heal (*hug*)