My name is Matt. I am 16 years old and have been bisexual for as long as I can remember. Here is my problem. Well to start things off, I dont if I am Bi or Gay. I have almost lost interest in girls period. My big problem, coming out. About a year ago, I had a really good friend named Josh. He was bisexual. I had never really had another bi friend before, so I was new to the idea of being around another bi person. Well, one night, I told Josh at his house that I was like him. Next thing I knew, an hour later, we were making out. In the middle of all the heat, his dad came in the room and saw us. He told my father and he freaked out and called me a fag, queer, etc. I told him I was just confused about it, and made him think I was not gay. I worked, but, I really want to be free and not worry about hiding it. How can I come out to my parents without them freaking out? Am I old enough? Should I wait a couple more years? Please help!
if you are sure that you are not "striahgt" then you can tel them that you are questioning you're sexuality. or you can just tell them that you're not straight. however, you shouldn't tell them until you're ready.
I would say that you should come out only when you are absolutely sure and when you are also certain that you are ready. I am not sure how severe a bad reaction you fear from you parents, but if you are worried about negative reactions, I think that under the "are you ready" umbrella comes such considerations as do you feel old enough and mature enough to deal with any possible negative reactions from your family? Do you feel confident enough in yourself to be able to withstand criticism, and do you feel proud enough not to succomb to feeling bad or shameful should things not go well? As I said, I don't know your circumstances or your father enough to know whether his reaction before was just shock (and that he'd get over it), or whether it could possibly be a sign of insurmountable homophobia. I think only you know this - but I'd only come out when you are sure, and when you are ready to deal with any negative reactions you fear. Good luck!!
You're more than old enough but if you want to come out, you should either be sure or be sure enough and tell everyone you're sure (unless they're quite sympathetic/gay positive). If you express doubt to someone who is clueless or would rather see you straight, you will be unlikely to hear the end of it, as the whole "homosexuality/bisexuality is a phase" myth is still sadly alive and well. That really sucks your friend's dad freaked out at you. Do you know how he feels about his son being bi? Are you guys still friends?
Yes, we are still friends. But not as close as we were. His dad is like my dad, he hates Josh being bi. He kicked Josh out of his house around two months ago. He now lives with his mother. I am pretty open to a lot of my friends. I think 16 is old enough to be open, but im so scared of what my dad will think.
i came out to my parents before i was 100% sure, but i have tolerant and awesome parents. i don't know if yours would be the same. i would just say, be careful, because you need to pick a good moment.
well,you're never too young really. I came out to my mom in 5th grade but that was because i knew she wouldn't turn her back on m eand throw me out. I didn't come out ot my dad until i was your age actually,but that didn't really matter since my parents are divorced and i have somewhat of a guy-you-know-from-work relationship with him. It's hard to say,the liberal part of me says to go and tell them right now, finish it off with a big fuck you and run out the door screaming like a madman. But the part of me that knows betrter says that maybe, just kind of lay low until college? I dunno,overall,i think everyone would feel better if you just came out,start out by saying your Bi,it seems to be less of a shock. Never mind what i said about the whole college business,that is a terrible way to live and i apologize. You need to tell them something,keep in mind that they have plans for your future(its what parents do)like kids and weddings and stable careers and such. Assure them that being bi(or gay whichever you're feeling is more appropriate)changes nothing about you and that you just want hem to know. Their aproval is not reguired,but you would certainly enjoy their acceptance of you. The key factor in any coming-out is picking our moment. Mine have always been in kind of...distraught situations. But anyway,im sure they talked about what happened between you and josh so it's not like a dead issue,it's out there, you just need to bring it to life. -sorry if that's just bunch of nonsense-words and none of it helps you,the onl reference i have are my own coming-outs,which were very tame in comparsion to the million other queers out there. Again,sorry for the hella-long post.
Matt, I say this to you my friend........."in your own time". I have to say ccdd said it best! She's given you some very "mindful" advice. That said I might follow her lead. However remember there's some powerful wisdom that applies here too. You are in charge or your reality!!! You might not get this now.......heck I did'nt for 42 yrs. then one day Bahm!!! A light went on when I realized I was living "my" life in an effort to please everyone else. Problem was........I was so worried about what others thought of me......the flipside created a damaging result......I was miserable!! All of this said.......just remember.........."You" will be ready when "You" decide and not before. The "Power" to be authentically "You" lies within you. :icon_wink Press On! Matt & Nothing but blessings & Good Luck to You!! Suede7
