I think my girlfriend has a disorder. But I'm not sure which disorder, or if it's multiple...I'll just list the things that would be the symptoms of whatever it is. -she fears abandonment and thinks she'll be alone for the rest of her life -she doesn't think she deserves love, and is very insecure -when she's by herself, she becomes depressed, and has to force herself to act happy -she commonly gets into moods that are self-berating, depressed, pessimistic, worried to death about the future, and extremely pissed off. and when she's pissed off, she doesn't have any control whatsoever on how she treats me. she knows i'll love her no matter what, and it's like that gives her subconscious permission to take all the pain she's feeling and lash out onto me. and then a couple hours later she'll feel awful about whatever she said to me and apologize and tell me i don't deserve her bullshit. -she has a hard time trusting people -her mood changes are pretty quick, and drastic -she is aware of all of this, and feels like there's something legitimately wrong with her does anyone have any idea of what this could be?
I think that if she's aware of all that and thinks that there's something legitimately wrong, she should probably go talk to a professional about it. I'd love to interject my thoughts on this one, but it probably won't help any. If anything, she'd end up going to see a professional with a preconceived notion that she has _____, which may or may not be true, and may end up complicating a more proper diagnosis in the long run. That's not to shut you down or anything, but I don't think the vast majority of us are in a place to make that call, for her well-being. Though I will say that if she's treating you badly, even though you love her no matter what, be sure to look out for yourself too. Not that anything bad would happen, but it's easy to get roped into unhealthy/abusive relationships without knowing how/when it happened, or how/when to get out. (that's also not to say this is one, but something to keep in mind)
I am going to have to side with Buddermc about going to get some Professional help for your Girlfriend. But if you want a ball park idea she definitely has abandonment issues that is manifesting from something in her childhood. She also could have a disorder that some people get when they were neglected as an infant during the first 6 months which leads to shutting down and detachments. I personally think she needs to talk someone and figure away to deal with her demons before it consumes her and becomes more dangerous. also if she is having mood swings double check that she is not taking drugs which can also be the result of her random burst of anger. She also may have gone thru something traumatic which didn't settle until recently. those are just a couple starting points. Also just some advice for you and your safety please be careful and remember your self value.
It sounds like you are coping with a lot. Being in a relationship with someone who has these kinds of character traits can be exhausting and damaging, so be careful Check that you are looking after your own needs first. This may sound selfish but if you are not doing this, you eventually won't be in a position to help anyone. I absolutely agree that it is not helpful to take a stab in the dark as to what might be the matter. If I were you, I would encourage your girlfriend to seek appropriate help. The symptoms you describe are not uncommon and they don't necessarily point to a disorder or mental illness. Reassuring her that her feelings are valid and real, and have been most likely been caused by external factors, may help her to find the strength and courage to get help. She is not alone, and she does not always have to feel like this. Best wishes, Rose
Regardless of the specific diagnosis (which, as others have said, can only be diagnosed by a professional, after an appropriate diagnostic workup), the sort of symptomology you're describing isn't something one generally can fix by oneself. I could see a number of possibilities as far as a specific diagnosis, but that isn't what's really important here. One thing that is clear is there's very low self-esteem and a lot of shame, so one thing you (or she, or both of you together) could do is take a look at Brené Brown's TED talks starting with this one [youtube]iCvmsMzlF7o[/youtube] and read her book "The Gifts of Imperfection". That will be a good underpinning some of the main themes of what's going on for her, but she really does need to be seeing a therapist on a regular basis.
to all who replied: thank you. unfortunately therapy isn't something she'd be willing to do right now, and not something i'd be able to convince her to do. although i think you guys are right, it would help immensely. to those concerned about me: thanks again. i do make sure to put myself first, cause if i don't, then i can't be her rock. to chip: that video is incredibly profound. thank you for sharing.
