I feel like such an ass posting this, but it's something I need advice on. Even though I've come out, I still find it easier to flirt with girls. I don't initiate it, I just respond when she starts it. Nothing has come of it, but I still like flirting, almost like I gain something from the practice... I really wish I had the confidence to do this with guys, but I'm too afraid. So women seem like the next best thing... It's almost like delayed sexual-social development. Now that I know who I am sexually, I want to flirt, but I don't feel comfortable talking with who I really want to (guys) because I'm intimidated, so it's easier to flirt with women even though I know nothing will come of it. I was asexual in high school and college, so now that I've finally given myself permission to find myself, I feel like I'm "starting the process" at a place I don't want to. It's frustrating.
Same here.. easier to flirt with guys. it is "because" I know nothing will come of it, thats why it's easier (they also know that it isn't gonna happen... I don't want to lead people on or anything)
There's something fun about flirting with the opposite sex when you're gay because there's no potential for a relationship there -- you don't feel nervous around the person and can be far more brazen than you would be with someone you're actually interested in. I think that's pretty normal. It's still important to make sure that the girls you flirt with know that you're gay, though, so that you don't lead them on. (*hug*)
You shouldn't feel like and ass for posting that your flirting with a girl even tho your gay. Society has mad female and male together as a norm. Its a comfort zone that your in which is perfectly natural. Most people tend to stay in their comfort zone in fear of the unknown. Which in that is your intimidation with men I assume i may be wrong. In Life if a guy flirts with a girl the worst thing that can happen is being turned down and vise versa with girls. But if a guy or a girl flirts with the same sex in public. The out come can be very hostile which can make flirting with the same sex difficult. So just know that your not alone. i honestly have been openly gay since my freshmen year in high school and pride my self on my willingness to push the limits but some times flirting with a guy in public takes my breathe away. I rather flirt with girls because its just easier even tho it doesn't make me happy. In other word I am just saying your normal well as normal as anyone can be in this world. Take baby steps one day it won't be so intimidating. hope i could help.
I have the exact same problem. I'll sit and flirt for quite some time until I realize I have a rather subdued interest in fucking her. I wouldn't feel like an ass - you're right, if nothing else, it gives you a chance to sharpen your wit.
I think flirting is a social skill - it makes conversations easier to start and continue. Even if we're gay, our upbringing conditions us with certain social skills. Before you came out, it was "normal" for you to flirt with girls and you are now used to and comfortable with that. You are now out and you need time to adjust to a new set of rules, ones you didn't grow up with. I'd say, if you enjoy flirting with girls and you're sue they know you're not leading them on, enjoy it. You don't have to hate a woman's company and friendship to be gay. As for flirting with men - it takes a bit more practice AND knowing that the person opposite is safe to filrt with. You don't want a knuckle sandwich for your troubles! I tend to flirt with straight men who know I'm teasing - it makes us both smile! :badgrin: I don't tend to flirt with someone I'm "interested in" - I think it's because I take my interest too seriously to "play" but that's just me. Honing your flirt-skills should be fun! (!)
I'm Asexual. I flirt with girls and I don't initiate it too. It normally happens. I'm really OK with it bc I find it very romantic. But I used to wonder why I do so. If you don't feel any thing good about flirting with girls IDK , but if you do, reading on Romantic/affectionate orientation may help you.
