Okay, so I need a little advice. I get on really well with my best friend who happens also to be gay. He is literally my perfect guy, funny, happy, cute, similar dress sense, sporty. He is amazing. I really like him and want a relationship with him. The problem rises when I bring in our history. He was the first person I came out to and only then did I find out he was gay. I had a massive crush on him and we went on a few dates (cinema and meals only)but then things went shit. He told me he was religious and wouldn't do anything sexual until he was a lot older. Instead of respecting that, I went a little mad at him and it all stopped. I have never regretted anything so much in my life. :bang: I don't know what to do because I really like him and I am worried now we are not at college together we are just going to separate :icon_sad:
Have you apologized to him about what you said and told him that you want things to be different next time? How often do you talk to each other currently?
How about apologizing to him and asking him out for lunch or coffee sometime? Explain that you were wrong and would like to try and work things out. Reassure him that you really like him and are sorry for getting mad. Try and see what he is willing to do as far as a relationship with you goes.
We talk/text almost every night, we live about 15minutes drive from each other and since the holidays started its been hard seeing each other with our jobs. I have apologised to him over text but not face to face.
I'm wondering about this split between "he's the perfect guy for me" and your initial reaction to the fact that he doesn't want to do anything sexual for a long time. Not to be harsh, but from the way you described your reaction, it sounds like there's a part of him that isn't all that perfect after all - and that's not something you need to feel at fault about. Sex lives can be part of relationship standards for many people, and if that's important to you and your needs aren't compatible with his, that's okay. How much have you dated in the meantime? Have you had any sexual experiences with other men since dating your friend? I don't mean to pry and I'm not looking for details, I'm just wondering where you went with this after him. As far as being at college and away from each other, it is very possible to stay in touch and stay good friends. There's no real secret here, other than to remind yourself to make an effort to talk - and not just text back and forth once in a while. Call him, email him. See if there are any websites or online games you both can spend time on every so often. Definitely visit during breaks. If you want to express some sort of feelings toward him about wanting to give things another shot, I suggest starting with the idea of feeling bad for rejecting him because of the sexuality thing. Stick with that idea and wait on the "...and I want to give us another shot" part. Regret, whatever else it might have to offer you, won't be a good place to start a relationship from, so deal with that first. The past is past, but if you can work through it and not feel that regret anymore, then maybe you'll be in a better position to ask him if he wants to try seeing you again.
Thanks gravity, really opened my eyes. I have been on a few dates since, but nothing really has worked out. He has always been there for me especially recently when things between me and my dad have turned sour (I haven't even come out to him yet) and I really want to give it another shot but I do need to get over the regret. Thank you guys
