I'm scared that I won't find anyone that will like me...

Hi Audey

I'm not sure about how it works with lesbians, but for men, you can find someone who "likes" almost every weight, shape and colour in the world - people who like skinny men, people who like muscles, people who like cubs, and chubs and fatties, old young, grandfathers - everything you can imagine has its admirers.

I have no reason at all to believe that it works any differently for women - perhaps women are even more willing to look past the physical and straight into the personality.

As a general rule for me - nothing is more attractive than laughter and a smile. If you want people to pay attention to you in the nicest way, you have to radiate warmth and sincerity and laughter is one of MY measuring sticks. (*hug*)

 

Sounds like I'm in a similar place. Low self confidence, body-image issues, and quite reserved. I know I can't do much about my looks - I'm not about to pay for a new face or anything, but I can make more of an effort to make my personality shine through (the good parts - I need to keep hiding my plans for world domination!). Hopefully that will be enough for the right person to notice me. And when he does, I think I'll probably have to start learning to breath, walk and talk all over again! :icon_redf

 

So what's available to you where you live? Are you in school or college, are you working, at home? In a big city, tiny place in the sticks? DO you have access to transport?

 

If you feel intimidated by the idea of signing up for GSA at college, you could see when their next meeting is, lurk outside till they arrive (or leave) and see if you spot someone who looks "sympathetic". You could then speak to them privately if you can find them on campus later on.

The LGBT community is VERY supportive and no-one will find it odd if you need a bit of advice or support. I'm sure if you approach someone they will be more than happy to talk to you.

If you find the idea of approaching a girl different, then guys won't mind if you ask for advice - they might to be able to point you in the right direction of a girl who they think could help with advice.

I really understand your need to talk face-to-face. Sometimes it's important to gauge a person's reactions which you can't do on here.

COme back if you have any other thoughts. :smilewave

 

I guess we are in the same boat about this, when I meet someone attractive I immediately think they're so perfect and everything. I just think I'm not good enough for them and that it's why I always back off. When I'm among my friends it might seem that I'm super confident but the opposite is true. I mean, I live in a very small town and I know about only 5-10 girls who like girls that live around here.

I kind of fancy one of them and from other people I know she's nice and everything. But when I meet her from time to time I'm like "oh god she's so close to me, don't look at me" and I look on the ground, avoiding to look at her and wishing she was already gone, instead of just making eye contact and maybe smile at her at least.

I have a very low self confidence, I think that I'm ugly, worthless and not interesting at all all the time, I don't want it to sound like I'm whining, but I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you're going through and you have my (even though it's only virtual) support

 

Confidence is attractive. No matter what your physical characteristics are, you can absolutely present yourself in an attractive way. I honestly don't know what you're feeling and I wish I could effectively explain how to live your life feeling awesome all the time, but if I think of a method I'll surely post it

Maybe this seems random, but have you ever watched the TV show "what not to wear?" They often have women who lack self-esteem because of their body shapes and the hosts give some good advice about loving your body and dressing to flatter it.

 

Hey Audrey,
I live in Alabama too. There are organizations such as PFLAG in every major city in the state and I would be surprised if your college doesn't have a GSA group or another organization that is active in our area is the Human Rights Campaign Human Rights Campaign. Many colleges have chapters as well. Good luck !!

 

HI again Audrey!

I second AND third what Amelia says - confidence is attractive, so is laughter and smiling. All three demand different amounts of energy, so start with the easiest. SMILE. It is very sexy and attractive to see a smiling face rather than an expressionless or, worse, frowning face. You don't have to walk around with a manic grin like one of those synchronized swimmers at the Olypics yesterday, but a sparkle in the eyes and a turn to the corner of the lips can make all the difference. ACT - we're all actors to a degree!

Good advice too about the other organizations to contact - and start by smiling there!

 

I sort of worry about the same thing as well! I have always struggled with my weight and self-confidence too so I can understand where you're coming from. It makes me wonder about who I'll end up with later in life.

 

Something for you to practise in front of the mirror, Audrey :roflmao:

 

OK Audrey - can I call you Aud?
So, me, I am a fatty fat fat man. I have had serious issues with my weight, and my self confidence.
I have so many other issues, that, well, I don't want to bore you with.
Sufficed to say, I recently(a year agoish), felt that I was destined to spend the rest of my life single and alone.
Well, guess what - I haz a boyfriend.
He's tall, dark(haired), handsome and I love the goon - and he loves me.
Point is, there is always someone who will find you attractive. Yes, it may take a while, but trust me, if I can find someone, anyone can.

 

Omg Audrey! People have givin you good advice already. All I will say is if that picture of you on your wall is yoy then you are a very attractive women. Trust me. I don't say this lightly. Many guys like women with meat on there bones! I'm on of them! Oh I
Sure some women like that too. You just have to retrain your brain some. Hell I'm all but 5"1 alittle pudgy but adorable. I was shy as hell at your age and sometimes still. But I press on. You will be just fine!(&&&)