A couple of weeks back I found some white power in the kitchen cupboard where we keep our plates and stuff, I just put it straight back and looked on-line and she has the affects or whatever she stays up all night and sleeps all day she has been asleep on the sofa for 2 days now and money keeps disappearing she had £150 on Monday and the next day it was gone, but the thing is she is not a bad mother really she's not she does loads for me and my sister. we have everything we need, we have food, cloths and we know she loves us its just this and I don't no what to do all I have just been sat crying because I have no idea what to do
I think the best idea would be to talk to her about it. It's a sensitive topic obviously, but you can't just dismiss it. Worrying about it isn't going to help any and will probably just make you feel worse. Not to mention the longer this goes on the harder it'll be to bring up and things may possibly get worse as well. You could segue into it by mentioning to her that you've noticed she's been sleeping a lot on the couch lately, or that money has been disappearing, or even that you found the powder in the kitchen (if you want to be more direct). I think you need to be wary of not accusing her of anything though. Nobody can be sure that she is doing drugs in the first place, and if she is then nobody knows why she is either. As a rule of thumb, generally people don't liked to be accused of things. And I think if she's even remotely emotionally unstable that's probably no better.
Welcome to EC. First you're most welcome here... this community, while originally established for LGBT youth, is certainly open to everyone. Second, you're in a tough spot. Given what you've described, it sounds like a serious issue. The combination of the behavior you describe, the white powder, and the £150 that disappeared overnight indicates someone with a pretty serious addiction, one that she is unlikely to be able to kick by herself. Talking to her may or may not be helpful. There's an old saying "Addicts only lie when their lips are moving" and it basically means that pretty much anything an addict says, particularly about their addiction, is suspect. So be prepared for a million excuses, flat denial there's a problem, or some sort of justification: "Oh, I'm just doing that temporarily to help me thorugh ____________ problem, but don't worry, I know my limits." Clearly she doesn't if she's staying up all night, sleeping all day, and blowing through tons of cash. So you need help. One of the biggest difficulties that families facing addiction have to deal with is the conflicting needs: Need for mom to be mom, and to be there for you, but also need for mom to get help. And usually, addicts are convinced they don't need help, because the drug almost immediately hijacks the reason centers in the brain. Additionally, families often unintentionally enable the addict, making the addiction worse. They do this by denying to themselves that the addiction exists, or believing the minimizing/lying that the addict does, or by covering for the addict and keeping him or her from facing the consequences of her action. So you need help. The first question I have is, is your dad in the picture and available/supportive to you? If not, is there an aunt, uncle, grandmother or grandfather that is around? You need a trusted, responsible person you could reach out to, and those would be the first choices. Failing that, the next step -- which I'm sure you won't like -- is to contact a counselor at school and/or Child Protective Services. Your mom needs to get into treatment, and you need a safe place to stay with responsible people to help you while your mom is getting help. Minimizing or denying the issue isn't going to help anyone, and the thing you have to remember is, you want your mom back, and that's ultimately what's most important here. Even if she gets really angry once someoen takes action to help her, she will eventually be appreciative that someone stepped forward to get her help. And with the proper adult help, you can help her to get away from the drug use and into recovery. Please feel free to PM me or any other of the EC staff if we can be of any assistance. We would be happy to help you find resources that can help you and your mom if needed.
My later adolescent years were spent with a drug-addicted mother. I found what looked like crystal meth in a small plastic baggy, next to a spoon with what appeared to be burn marks. I was with a friend when I made this discovery. Together, we gathered up what we found and marched up to my mom to confront her. The events that followed were messy and traumatic. My point in sharing that is to tell you not to do what I did. As someone else already mentioned, it's a touchy subject, especially since it's your parent. You don't just come out of the blue with an accusatory question. Ease into it. Ask her how she's doing. Ask her if she's having any problems. Tell her that you love her, you're there for her, and she can tell you anything. If you do eventually find that she is in fact using drugs, you have to decide what to do next. You say that she's a good mom and you have everything you need. If that's the case, let her work it out on her own. That's what I did, and things turned out okay for the most part. Ideally, you probably need to tell someone so you can make sure she gets the help she needs and that you and your sibling(s) are taken care of. But at the end of the day, it's your decision. Only you know what's best for you. Good luck.
Time, I was thinking of you when this thread started and hoping you'd show up and post. I remember your threads here about the situation with your mother. I'm glad things ultimately worked out for you even if it was traumatic at the time.
