I know that my mom will definitely be accepting. She has had conversations on the subject (which makes me think she already suspects) but its my dad that's the issue. It's not that I think he will react badly, its that I have NO IDEA how he will react. No clue. Not a single idea. I don't think it will be super bad, but the unknown is the scariest part about the whole ordeal. Any advice on how to work up the courage?
I know exactly how you feel, I haven't come out to my parents just yet either. Have you thought of maybe telling your mother first and then you could ask her about how your father will react? You could ask her to be there when you tell your dad, or you could ask her to talk to him. These are a few ideas I've had to tell my father, I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do it, but do you think any of those ideas would work? What if you tried bringing up LGBT subjects while your mom and dad are in the same room? Assuming they are together. Just an idea, hope these can help!
^ I agree with everything Rue put. I think telling your mom first is the best way to go. If you know she's going to be accepting, then that's even better. The thing is, after she knows you're gay, you have someone who can talk to your dad on your behalf to fish for his opinions. Hell, she might already know his opinions from other private talks or something. I can see possible concern in you talking to him directly (while closeted) as he might wonder why exactly you're asking him his opinion on being gay --> "wait, is Phant gay?!". But yeah, tell your mom first and go from there. Having her know opens up so many more options. For what it's worth, my dad is the only person I have left to come out to and I also have no idea how he'll react. After telling my mom, the first things she offered was to talk to him, either to come out for me or figure out his opinion, because she also wasn't sure. I'm still opting to tell him myself (in fact, I should have a week ago... <_<) but it's nice to know I've got more options.
Honestly, I tend to find that if 1 parent is accepting, both will be. People have a tendancy to go for people like them, that hold the same beliefs or, at the very least accept the others beliefs and don't hold prejudices. If you mum is someone you think will accept, in that situation, I think you need to put a bit of trust in her decision to be with your dad and also put a bit of trust in your dad. I would agree with the above to talk to your mum first, but more to belay any fears you have, rather than because your dad will be an issue.
