So at the beginning of this summer i broke up with my girlfriend because i thought it was unfair for her while i was figuring myself. But i broke up with her through email which was a douche bag move but i coudnt face her through telephone! So a week or so ago i came out to my friend! She told me that i had to come clean with my ex because my ex told her she wanted to come back with me! So during band camp during lunch i came out to her and it was very weird i mean i told her i was gay but we got interrupted but she told me she had guessed! Which was a white lie right there but she was all smiley about it! And after the day ended she told me she dint believe me and since then when ever im at band camp each time we are going to walk around she always ends up next to me. I know i said to her i wanted to be friends but it takes time and its just weird when we were dating she never felt that clingy but now she does and shes acting weird and told me she was confuse! I don't know what to tell her and what to do with her? Please shes acting weird shes a person who keeps things inside!
Maybe you should invite her to a coffee or a hot chocolate and have a nice, laid back discussion about everything? Be very honest... like don't say you're 100% gay if you're not 100% sure, you can explain the Kinsey scale to her, for one. You can share your hopes and expectations for the near future.... like, you need the type of space only single people get to figure these things out, and that you'd rather have her as an understanding friend for the time being. That it feels awkward to you that she clings and hints that she wants you back together. Then, listen to her... nothing has to be chosen right then, either. If you weren't so young I'd suggest a bit of alcohol to help her talk but you're under drinking age
I think you've discussed this before - I would imagine it feels pretty freaky for her at the moment - one minute your dating her and the next you're bisexual, for which many people will take to mean "gay but I haven't tried it yet". She might need the reassurance that it's nothing SHE did which has made you change your mind about your sexual identity. Ladies find it hard if they think they've turned a bf gay - it's a sort of slap in their feminine face, metaphorically speaking. You need to talk with her and let her realize she did nothing wrong, that you are really glad she's accepted it so well, and that she needs to move on now and find herself a new bf because hanging round with YOU too much might put the fellas off from asking her out. If you can give plausible reasons for things, she'll accept it eventually, and hopefully you can remain friends without feeling awkard around each other. Be brave and do it face-to-face and not via phone or email - she deserves that much.:smilewave
Staying friends is hard. My ex and I broke up this summer. We had been trying to stay friends, but every time I saw him I would get all emotional and want him to take me back. We haven't talked in like 3 weeks now and I'm honestly way happier. Staying friends, while it seems important, can make a breakup infinitely more difficult. My professional advice (which is probably irrelevant because no one ever listens to advice about break ups, I know I didn't =P) Is to just give each other space for a little while before you try to be around each other again. It takes a while to get over the feels for a person, and just like a drug addiction, every time you get a taste of the person it feels good but then you take 5 steps backwards towards moving on. Even if you are over them, they likely aren't over you.
People like that, who are super-clingy and don't take being broken up with as an indication that the relationship isn't going to work, generally don't listen to reason either. The very fact that, after you broke up with her over email, and later told her you're gay... she still doesn't get it is indicative that she's just one of those who lives in la-la-land. So you can try communicating to her but my guess is she's got really low self esteem and has built this idealized idea of what your relationship could look like. You may just have to be really, really firm and a little harsh with her... "We're not gong out, we broke up, we're never going to get back together, and honestly, I think it would be better if we took some time apart from one another for a while."
Bit late and you have had some great advice already. But I went through an almost identical break up about a year ago. I was bisexual, but hadn't told my girlfriend because I didn't want to hurt her. We broke up over other matters and I decided I needed to tell her. She became angry, but shut off from anyone but me... The problem is, they think it is their fault you are now identifying as gay (from their point of view, there is no bisexual), and that really knocks them back. Especially at your young age (I was 16/17 when this happened so similar) it can be a real set back for both you and her. Take the advice above and try talking to her, it's hard but if you can explain the feeling of uncertainty (of orientation) was there before, it will help her to see its not her fault. If this fails, try distancing yourself (really difficult I know) but it will help both of you come to terms with what's happened. Hope this helps (*hug*)
