To say that I'm terrified is most definitely an understatement. I'm bisexual, and I'm not out to very many people. I'm out to my two closest friends. One is straight and said that she would support me. The other is bi-curious and was only comfortable telling me after I came out to her. She didn't have a problem with my sexuality. I lean more towards men and I've been attracted to some girls. The issue is my family. I told my ten year old brother and he said that he was embarrassed to be related to me. Although I think he thinks I'm joking. I'm not. My father supports LGBT, and I'm closer to him than anyone else in my family, but I'm still afraid to tell him. I'm not too sure about my mother. One of my friends was kicked out of his house for being gay (his mother disapproved). I told my mother and her response was, "I wouldn't be too happy about it either." So I have no clue what to do there. My thirteen year old sister is...I just can't tell her. She already hates me for the way I dress and the music I listen to. I was talking about transgenders around her once and she said, "Ew! Then it's like a he-she!" I tried to explain it to her, but she didn't listen. She has no problem with gay men, just transgenders, bisexuals, and lesbians. She said, "I would never be friends with a lesbian; then it's like they like you." In my opinion that's bullshit. If that's supposed to be an issue, then I guess I can't have friends of either gender. My youngest sister just turned nine, and I don't know if I should even say anything to her. I don't think she fully understands. I had on fingerless gloves once and she said they "made me look gay." So...what do I do? I'm terrified of their reactions.
My suggestion is that, you should talk to your dad, or any adult that you trust if you are uncomfortable with dad(choose wisely though, there can be predators that wait for things like this and use it against you). Best go with your dad though, as he support LGBT and is the person who you are closet to your family, as you said. Having an adult that understand you and support you will be your greatest help in this period of your life. About your mom...I think you should observe her a little more about her opinions. Of course a normal parent will find a bit of shock if their child is a deviant from the mainstream heterosexual, and they might not be happy about it at first. But, that does not say anything about whether your mom will accept you or not, so observe her a little bit more. The reaction from your younger brother and sisters is quite predictable, considering their age. Kids are not used to things that go outside of the normality. The idea is that there is more to attraction than just physical gender is a complicate concept, and too often hard to believe for young kids. I say refrain from comming out to them now. It is too soon for them, and you don't need to do it. Talk with your dad about helping you to ease them to accepting the fact that there are many kind of people so when they grow up a little bit more, they can accept you easier. Best of luck.
Welcome to EC! :smilewave Anyways, about your siblings. I doubt your brother meant any harm by what he said, he just doesn't fully understand, and at his age that's fine. I think with him you should just let it be for now, maybe talk to him about it when he's a bit older. Your 13 year old sister doesn't seem very accepting. But she'll probably grow out of her ignorance eventually. I'd wait to tell her until she's more grown up and mature about this. Your 9 year old sister. Well, almost everyone has said something along the lines of "that's so gay" or so. That doesn't mean anything that she said it. I'd wait with her too though. I mean when I was 9/10, I knew my cousin was gay, and I actually thought it was cool, but other kids may not be that way when they're younger. I'd tell your dad first. If you're closest to him, and he'd be cool with it, then he's the best choice. It may be really hard to tell him, but it'd be worth it. Having a parent support you would be great. Just work up the courage and tell him. Your mom... After telling your dad (and telling him not to tell your mom), I'd ask him what he thinks her reaction will be. He probably knows her best, so he may know how she'd feel. You could also mention things having to do with LGBT, and gauge her reaction. Good luck! If you ever need to talk I'm always here :icon_bigg
Hello and welcome, Oreo :smilewave First of all, don't panic! There's no rush to come out and there's no need at the moment to make decisions. You are 15 and it's natural that you are questioning about yourself and curious about life in general. Your siblings haven't reached that questioning stage in their development yet - most 10-year-old boys would run a mile at the thought of kissing a girl - it doesn't last for most of them and the awkwardness with the nature of things disappears as they develop. Your sister of 9 is , again, too young to understand your feelings and to relate to them. Your 13-year-old sister - probably too self-obsessed and into what HER friends think. She probably disagrees with you out of principle rather than actually hating you. You have said your father is LGBT-friendly. I assume you think this because of things he's said in the past or maybe discussions you've had. If you approach him and ask to talk to him privately, he will understand that what you want to say is important to you and he'll listen respectfully. You can say you're uneasy before you even begin and he will do his best to make you feel at ease. You can explain how you feel, how you feel a bit "alone" within the family and I'm sure his natural reaction as your father will be one of wanting to comfort you. You can also discuss your uncertainty about your mom's reaction with him and ask HIS advice. In honesty, you hear stories about kids being thrown out on the streets, but it's very, very rare, and your parents, especially your dad, sound like reasonable people - they're not going to put first-born daughter out on the streets because she's questioning, confused and just not sure yet! (&&&)
I was most scared to come to my sisters and I'm the youngest. I came out at age 17/18....My sister acted funny towards me and it did hurt me a lot, but I exposed her to LGBT community and she became more accepting. Your siblings are probably too young to understand right; I told my nieces who were/are still teenagers that I'm gay about 2 yrs ago and they were very supportive. Give it some time...they'll grow to understand...
