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Bigendered maybe?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Fallible, Aug 11, 2012.

  1. Fallible

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    So this past week I've been in "Guy mode." I've been wearing more guys clothing and acting like a guy. But this morning I woke up and realized that I totally was not comfortable in my boxers an cargo shorts. It felt wrong for some reason. :icon_sad:

    So I put on my girl clothing and then I felt bad about doing it, I mean, I thought I was transgender, what was I doing?! I mean I'm soooo uncomfortable with my breasts, I just want them gone. So I didn't completely feel like a girl, I guess. I just wanted to dress like one maybe? Even then, I didn't really.

    So I have no idea what I am at the moment, sadly. I actually prefer to be male, so that's why I'm so upset that I woke up this morning feeling kind of like a girl. I honestly have no clue what's going on with me, help please? :tears:
     
  2. J Snow

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    So I'm assuming female is your birth gender?

    I know how you feel. I've always felt like I want to want to be a girl (not a typo). Like everything that reaffirms that I'm transsexual makes me feel good and everything that makes me doubt can be depressing.

    I would say not to worry too much. Especially if you are uncomfortable with your body there is no reason why going back to wearing girl clothes for a while should make you feel bad. If you are really only 15 you have a lot of time to figure things out, and are way ahead of where most people are at that age.

    And being bigender/genderfluid/genderqueer etc. is not inferior to being transsexual if that is what you decide you are =P
     
  3. Gipsy

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    Actually, I have been going through the same thing for some period of time. I know how it feels, except I'm genderqueer. When you feel comfortable being a guy at a moment, then the next thing you know it feels wrong. Although when I experience this I still have rejections to dealing with being a cis-women regardless of what I'm feeling and refuse to wear female clothes. I'm a genderqueer FtM though, so if you feel like you should be a boy even if you're experiencing this (because to tell you truth I hate when I don't feel comfortable in guy clothes anymore because being a guy is still what I want to be.) then maybe you're meant to be a boy. You can be two identifications or more at once. I don't know exactly how to help you though, since I haven't found solutions to this problem yet.
     
  4. Romi

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    It is more than okay to identify as something other than trans. My initial identification was that I was transgender, but when I started going through what you're going through now, I realized it wasn't the case.

    Some days I feel very bigender. Bigender being something different than gender fluid. To make things easier I settled on genderqueer. Because lets face it, my gender is as queer as it comes.


    I know how frustrating the confusion can be for you, and when/if others see you being confused then they might pick at you for it concerning your gender, and it makes it even harder. I've had to deal with that. The whole 'I thought you were this, I thought you were that, you can't make up your mind." blah blah blah.

    But just try not to worry about it too much. I would say that, it sounds less like you're trans and more like you're some branch of genderqueer. And that is completely normal and fine. :]

    As for solutions to the problem...The first step, and potentially the most difficult, is just learning to accept that some days are going to be easy and some days are going to be hard. You might wake up and feel fantastic being your boy/girl self, and then you're going to have days where your mind and body wage wars. But accepting this is the first step to overcoming those bad days.

    I just recently made a post on my FB regarding these kinds of days.

    "I'm not confused. I'm angry, frustrated, and hurting. I know who I am."

    It sounds kind of depressing when you first read it, and I admit I was all of those things when I wrote it...but in a way it's kind of become my little mantra when I find myself struggling between mind and body.

    I am not confused.
    I know who I am.
    And I am ________. [Genderqueer, Bigender, Gay, etc. Whatever feels right to you.]


    It's probably really corny. But it helps me feel more confident. If I find something less corny...I'll let you know. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: