I'm getting all confused again. Right when I was feeling ready to come out. It's like, I'm finding myself checking out some girls. But not many at all. But I can't really see myself with a girl and not too sure I'd want to be with a girl in the long run. But then I can't shake the idea of it. I know I definitely like guys though, not at all confused about that.* I'm not even sure how to explain it really. Just a jumble of thoughts in my head.*:bang:
You say you were feeling ready to come out - are you quite sure about that? Seems to me your subconscious is telling you your not ready. Not because you're straight, but because you're still concerned with the consequences. Explore what you're feeling and understand why you're feeling it. I suspect you're not straight, it's just fear.
I really was feeling ready. But now I'm confused again. Which of course means I won't now. And yeah, definitely not straight. But it's am I bi or gay? I was thinking gay. But now I'm not sure. But I think it would be bi with a strong lean towards guys. It's like I feel as though if I come out as bi I'd be lying. But that if a come out of gay then maybe I'm not being entirely truthful to myself or those around me either? I'd be closing a door.
Well, I think it is definitely interesting that you know you'd be "lying" but if you come out as gay you're "not being entirely truthful". To me, the wording there is more telling than anything else you've written. If you feel that admitting being bi is lying but you can't outright say admitting being gay is lying, then, it seems to me you're clutching at excuses to not come out - maybe you weren't as ready as you thought you were?
I know how you feel, I feel like I'm lying to myself by telling myself that I could very well be bisexual. When I first came out, I told everyone that I was bisexual, but then throughout the years I've lost interest in men. I find it very difficult to connect with a man on an romantic/emotional level, but I'm not opposed to the idea of being with a man. However, I don't think it'll last; I do not believe that I can have a fulfilling relationship with a man. In the past, I've always felt as if something was missing. Even though I am a gay woman, I have found many men to be attractive, but I prefer women. Who do u fantasize about? Do you get excited thinking about kissing a man, woman, or both?
Well I'm new here, and not sure how much my words can help but I seem to have close to the same issues as you. I just started considering myself bi due to the fact that there are some women that I seem to have feeling for, but of course, mostly guys. So, I don't have much knowledge on your situation, but it's actually not a bad thing to consider yourself bi, even if you have more of a liking towards guys. Whatever feels right to you, and makes you the most confortable, is the right thing! Good luck dude!
What u said their kinda sums it up , I think ur gay u say I can't see myself with a girl . Ur feeling what I used to and it took me a while to realise that it was because we are brought up in a society where u could say being straight is the social norm and ur brought up to be atracted to the opposite sex and we are ment to want them . But its ok if we dont , I don't think u have fully accepted ur gay and ur subcon is working saying why don't I. Even now that I've accepted I'm lesbian I can still think oh he is good looking but I don't want to be with him . I hope that helps and makes sence x
