I was with a friend yesterday, and I was talking about having a friend with benefits. Any objections? She said everyone needs a fuck buddy. Is it a good idea to have friends with benefits? I know emotions and stuff over time can become problematic, however is it possible to have a relationship with just sex and no other strings attached?
I think that it is sometimes possible, for some people. However, I think you should really think about whether that's something you want to do right now, given that you have been feeling impulsive and reckless since going off your medication. It is probably a better idea than having sex with a total stranger, which you mentioned you were thinking about doing, though. But it might end up causing a problem in your friendship, especially if you regret it a lot once you are more stable again.
It's been done successfully before. It comes down to knowing yourself and knowing whether you will be able to do it without emotions becoming problematic. It works for some people and not for others. I wouldn't have pegged myself as one of those people if I hadn't tried it, so it's hard to know in advance. Just keep your head on your shoulders, use protection, and be open and honest about everything you two do together, and it can work. I have to disagree with your friend, though, when she says "Everyone needs a fuck buddy." Some people do certainly need some sex without emotions to feel satisfied (your friend probably fits in that category), but some people are much happier not having sex than they would be having it casually. Different people have different relationships with sex, and not everyone benefits from have a fuck buddy, let alone "needs" one. Edit: Ianthe posted while I was editing my post. If you're feeling impulsive, that's not the best time to have sex casually, especially if it would be your first time. My "keep your head on your shoulders" point especially still stands, and if you don't feel like it's squarely on your shoulders, then now's a bad time to try casual sex for the first time.
Depends entirely on the friends and the benefits. Some people are perfectly capable of divorcing emotions from sex, where as some can't even see someones nunny without falling deeply in love with them. If you're going to go down this route, the first thing you must do is create some ground rules and boundries and the second either one of you feels yourself or your friend about to cross them, you have to just go back to being friends.
In that case, I think it's a terrible idea, and will not qualify as emotionless sex anyway. Having sex with her would definitely be all emotionally tangled up, especially since that is still a pretty recent breakup. Don't do it.
maybe your right. im glad i posted this. id do somethgn stupid that i couldn't take back. friends with benefit would be interesting though.
I don't think having an ex with benefits would be good, kind of defeats the no emotions part of friends with benefits. Personally I don't think I could have a friend with benefits, I wouldn't be able to do the no emotions part, I'm not a casual sex person, but I definitely see the appeal to having a friend with benefits.
I agree that sex with either a best friend or an ex is usually a really bad idea, for all the reasons stated. "Friends with benefits" relationships can be, as others have said, a workable situation. BUT... the big caveat is, a large portion of the time, even if there's been clear discussion and understanding of what the relationship is up front, one or the other party starts to develop feelings. And that can get really messy. That doesn't mean you should never consider it, only that it has a lot of caveats, and it can mean losing someone that you have a connection with other than sexual. So if the nature of the relationship with that person is such that it's a risk worth taking then... go for it. Last piece is, you should always, always play safe with someone who's a FWB. Regardless of what's said, particularly in that sort of situation, the likelihood that the person might take an opportunity to hook up with someone else... could put you at a risk you don't want to take.
I tried the whole FWB with an ex girlfriend and once I found someone else, of course we stopped being intimate. I'll admit that dating my best friend was a huge mistake because things were never the same between her and I. She still had feelings for me, but I didn't feel the same way about her. We're still friends today, but things tend to get awkward sometimes. I'm glad you changed your mind, it's really not worth the risk of losing a friend.
I'm glad you have thought about it more. I personally would never suggest a F w/ B situation, especially not with an ex.
Well, I speak from experience, but I think it depends on how long you've known the person too, but I personally wouldn't suggest it. But that's just me, it ruined my friendship with my (then) best friend and I.
I don't know you as well as other people here and it may be best to listen to them before reading me. All I can share is personal experiences and what I've heard, That is, lots of people take exes as friends with benefits. The reasons are simple; it's known land, she knows the tricks that work for you, and it doesn't really matter if the sex clouds your friendship because (you broke up) that friendship is not as worthy as another friendship (with somebody you didn't break up). My personally I prefer to find altogether new people that are put right away into this category. For one, there is no long lasting friendship at sake and it's easier to end if anything comes up. It's better than complete strangers too because you're more likely to keep your fuck buddy (won't be a one night stand). And like somebody said... protection... even between girls is very important!
+1 to all of these. If it wasn't obvious from all the good advice above, a friends with benefits situation with your ex, well firstly isn't a good idea, and secondly, it doesn't even fit the criteria of a friends with benefits arrangement in the first place i.e. emotions are going to come into play. Stay away! (But maybe find someone else!)
