I have three of the gay social networking apps on my iPhone. I was never one for hook ups, but I'm not looking for a long-term boyfriend (I had one for about a year and a half) so I'm considering maybe trying them out. 100% safe of course. I have an attraction to older men and there was a bear on one of the apps who contacted me for friendly chat and we've been talking for about 3 days. His profile is sending some mixed things. It says that he is looking for "friends, conversation, bears, cubs, chasers, etc., that he is in a relationship (it does not say open relationship) and his "about" section says that he is an average bear, looking for friends, that his partner and him have been together for 30 years and that he is a top. If he is looking for friends, why would be specify that he is a top? Is his partner in on this? Is he trying to cheat on his partner? I think he is attractive, and I'm not opposed to perhaps messing around, but I don't want to be the "homewrecker" By the way, he's 48.
None of these apps or sites are 100% safe. Given the nature of this relationship, I don't think any question is out of bounds. Just ask him. Would you rather ask and be embarrassed, or guess and regret it later? Chat with him more, be blunt, and find out what his intentions are. Ask him if his partner knows and if he has met up with anyone else from the site. Please be careful. If you meet with this man, tell a close friend or family member where you are going and designate check-in times. Tell them when you leave the area and keep them updated on where you're going.
