Hey everyone, I'm a 22 year old guy and this is my first post on this site. I've done some reading around the site for the past few months, and finally decided it was time to join and start posting a little bit. I guess I will just cut to the chase: I am very lost and confused. I have been attracted to other boys since I can remember, I always thought it was just a phase that I would grow out of. I've had a few girlfriends and quite a few girls that I was more 'friends with benefits' that I think have helped me slide to the age of 22 and not really question my sexuality. Unlike a lot of people who I've seen post on here, I've never felt "out of place" or like I couldn't relate to my straight friends. I am outgoing and make friends very easily, and most girls think that I am attractive. But, 90% of the time I am just really not interested - I've always just been MORE attracted to guys. What is weird is that when I get to know them - I generally become much less attracted to them and become just friends. This made me think that I was just straight and curious. In the past 3 months, I have graduated college, started a new job, moved to my own place, and also moved to a big city (where I have lots of straight friends). With all the changes going on in my life I have started to again question my sexuality. I am still way more physically attracted to guys, but am having a hard time dealing with it. The other day I went to my first gay bar with someone I had met. He introduced me to his gay friends, and I had a blast. I enjoyed it more than going out with my normal friends, and felt at ease getting to know some out and proud gay guys. I'm at a point where I finally think that I am gay - but am having a really tough time dealing with it. I feel that if I do come out and start dating guys it will be tough to explain to all my friends and it will make me stuck in the gay world - I don't think I could ever switch back to being straight/bi. I feel like i'm missing out on a family and kids (I know I'm not really) and would be letting down my family. I know that a lot of people here have gone through something similar and I was wondering if anyone who has been there had any advice. I know that I'm going through a lot of big life changes right now, and should probably just sit back and ride it out a little, but I don't want to keep wasting time not knowing what I want. I am also really scared I will make the wrong decision, and will regret my sexuality choice later in life when it would be much more difficult. So, thanks for any advice anyone has and I'm looking forward to sticking around here for a while as a member.
I would say that all of your worries arent rare when people come to terms with their sexuality. You shouldnt have to worry about explaining your relationships with your straight friends. Granted it would be better if you let them know, it shouldnt change your relationships unless they are the type of people that look down on it. If they look down on your for who you are then thats not a very equal relationship now is it? You dont have to talk about your personal life anymore than you did before. You wont be missing out on a family either. You can still have children, there are various options. Most common are adoption and surrogates. Personally, although we tend to make a big deal about being biological to our children, there are millions of children already here who will be looking forward to much worse lifes if someone doesnt stand up. I find that more noble. Not to mention, even if you do lose some, less than worthy, friends than you can make it up by continueing to have fun and meet awsome people like you did then. I wish you luck in coming to terms with everything (*hug*)
