So here's the thing. I'm gay, but I didn't always think I was. A while back, I used to be totally anti-gay (probably because I was denying my own sexuality). So, I made some comments in my high school about it. I think that my friends actually think that I'm anti-gay, which I'm really depressed about. In my freshman year, they were serious comments. In my sophomore year, they were defensive, so that people didn't think I was gay, and in my junior year, I didn't make any comments at all because I was terrified. Here's the problem, I want to join the gay straight alliance in my school for my senior year (and thus, come out to anyone who asks), but I'm afraid that everyone in my school is going to think that I'm some sort of idiot for being against gays one year, and being gay the next. I could really use some advice. I've really backed myself into a corner here, and I've been crying about it alot. I just don't want people to say I got what was coming to me, and I don't want to be made fun of. :icon_sad: :icon_sad: Now I wasn't too loud about being against gays when I was, but it was enough. Especially since my brother also made some comments. So, it's not like everyone knows me as the anti-gay guy at my school, but they do think I'm anti-gay. :help:
Welcome to EC I think joining a GSA would be a good move on your part. I was actually in a similar position for the years of high school too... I'm embarrassed to admit... But it might show people that you have changed. At least, if you don't come out. Also, repressed homosexuality is quite common among homophobes. You happened to be one of the few awesome ones to accept themselves. Join, but you don't necessarily have to come out. People shouldn't think you're an idiot just because your views changed, and if they say that you "got what was coming to you," then they're wrong. Some people are gay, but it doesn't happen on a karmic basis. As for how people will think of you-- based on the quality of friends, they shouldn't care, but should be happy for you, in that you've accepted yourself and gotten past internalized homophobia. As for others, some will certainly think differently of you, but if they do, then they aren't people who are worth your time. And you can blame your homophobia on that you felt the common stigma and fear of being gay, because society has told you it's wrong, but you're past that Good luck
^ I think he covered most of it very nicely In high school I was, sadly, in the same position you are right now, but a bit worse since I was that asshole that would debate that gays were disgusting at the lunch table, make comments behind people's backs, etc...yeah, it wasn't the best time for sure. But in my senior year I came out to the school by kissing my boyfriend in public. Scariest shit ever xD I'm not really sure what the whole school thought about it, but I do know that my close friends at the time just said "oh, now it makes more sense" and then they moved on to more interesting things If you are ever confronted by it just be honest. Tell them it wasn't cool and that you were just trying to hide it however you could. People will usually understand it. If someone was offended or is mad at you for doing that, then go ahead and apologize for whatever you might have said. As long as you are sincere they will see it and forgive you for it. It take a lot of courage to admit you were wrong. Just remember that you are doing this for yourself and no one else
I know exactly how you feel. Before I realized that I was gay, and even some time after I did, I would make a lot of anti-gay comments. It was really more of just a joke but I can't even imagine if someone in the closet heard about it. I think it would break my heart. If you join the GSA, people will probably see that you are changing and maturing or maybe they will call you a hypocrite. You can never please everyone. Do what you want to do
I know several people that were bigots and even bullies toward gay people in high school... who are big nelly queens now Not saying that's you, but my point is, *many* people who say homophobic things are, themselves, closeted. (Think Karofsky on Glee.) So, not only do I not think anyone will see it as hypocrisy, I think people will see it as an acknowledgement that you've recognized where you are and are owning your mistakes. That's a big step. And you might, by doing so, encourage others not quite so "out" to start taking their own steps in the right direction.
I wish there was something like that GSA at my school. I would join! But yes, I think it's good if you join. And don't feel bad about the past comments. I've made plenty of those. Not very hateful or Anti. Comments that were kinda off hand none the less. I'm going to be senior this year too! Hope it's exciting for both of us!
