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Coming Out Transgender

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Takashi, Aug 14, 2012.

  1. Takashi

    Takashi Guest

    Hi. Sorry if my username sounds weeaboo-ish, but it's what I could think up of. I'm a transgender male, meaning I was born female but identify as male on the inside. I haven't come out yet, except for one person, which was my bisexual friend. She didn't mind at all. I am bisexual myself, which no one knows yet. It's really awkward being the B and the T of the LGBT. It almost feels abnormal.

    My sexual orientation took over a year of questioning, but finding out I was trans wasn't as hard. I don't really like being female. It's almost like it's not quite me. At the same time, I get a little nervous about transitioning, if it makes any sense. I hate being called a "girl," "lady," "woman," whatever. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right. When I was a little kid, I used to sometimes identify as male on the inside, but those were little imaginary games I'd play in my head. I knew I was female on the outside. Later on in middle school I felt agendered, but that was a phase because I felt left out compared to other females in my class because I didn't get my period until I was 12, when everyone else did when they were 11. (Silly, I know.)

    I spend a lot of time wishing to be male. I've given hints to family about feeling that way, and they are very stingy and disapproving. My best friend called it a "phase" from the hints I gave. She is a strong pagan feminist and would scold me if I had gotten male hormones injected into my body, or if later I got reassignment surgery. Yesterday I told my therapist I don't like having breasts very much, but couldn't blurt out the big news because, I kind of wanted to give possible hints so she would figure it out, but she didn't. Even if she did suggest it, I might have beat around the bush a bit. I'm so scared to tell anyone. My mom would probably cry for weeks. Everyone else would be gravely disappointed.

    I'm not to focused about coming out bisexual. I'm sure I am. I have been attracted to both sexes very strongly. I'm not gay or straight. Right now I'm thinking about being transgendered.

    ---------- Post added 14th Aug 2012 at 09:24 PM ----------

    I should have mentioned this: I'm like Pinocchio. I just want to be a real boy.
     
  2. Curly

    Full Member

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    welcome!

    Funny you say Pinocchao. I like that!

    I am more of a Peter Pan fan myself. "I want always to be a boy, and have fun! "

    I don't really have any advice about coming out transgender. I am fully out as a lesbian right now, and people just think that I am just super gay, or super sterotypical appearance, whatever.

    I guess a few preceptive people probably can guess, since I go by another more androgenous name even though my facebook has my birth name on it (can't change that yet..). Suprisingly, most people don't really think twice after I explain that "this name just suits me better".

    You can feel free to msg me if you ever wanna talk.
     
  3. MusicIsLife

    Full Member

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    Welcome to EC!

    I think for coming out as trans, it's scary and often hard for people who know you to wrap their head around. I'm out to a handful of friends and my mom. My friends are fine with it, my mom...not so much.

    IMO I would wait on friends until you start your physical transition--I mean with clothes and binding and packing, not just medically.

    For your mom, first I would tell your therapist, don't drop hints, just tell them! They cant tell your parents anything in those sessions, it's 100% confidential. Then I would bring in your mom, sit her down and tell her, while using your therapist to mediate the meeting.

    I'd also brace yourself for a LOT of questions. Whenever I bring up the trans thing to my mom she pulls out a lot of "you can't possibly know!" and "how do you know for sure?" "Oh I don't want you taking hormones, it's so permanent!" etc etc. It will take your mom some time to get used to it, and I'd also say have a backup plan if your mom really has a negative reaction and tries to kick you out -- just to be prepared. I'm sure she won't but just to be safe.

    Don't rush in to coming out. Do a little research first to explain to people what you intend to do before you do it, like if they have questions about surgery or hormones or whatever.

    Good luck!