I'm stuck. I have known I'm gay for pretty much my whole life and finally admitted it to myself a little over a year ago. My problem is that I keep trying to figure out how not to be. My whole family is religious and homophobic and a lot of my close friends are the same. I don't know if I am ready to lose all those relationships for this. Thinking about it just makes me freak out. I haven't even dated anyone, boy or girl, and All I can think about is if I came out I would literally lose almost every important person in my life. I just don't know if I can do it.
Please don't think that having yourself be gay is wrong because of how other people view it. You're completely fine the way you are. There is no way "not to be gay," unless you lie to yourself and everyone and be unhappy and miserable. If you really feel that your family will have a bad reaction, then I would advise you to wait until you are no longer dependent on them financially in case the worst thing happens and they try to kick you out. Or since they are very religious, they might consider trying to get you to go to one of those horrible and phony "ex-gay" things. The people in life that cannot accept you are ones that are not worth having in your life. I know that can be a hard concept, especially when it comes to family, but I think it's very true. If they really love you, it should be unconditional. So for the time being I would probably hold off on telling anyone if you think they'll react negatively.
