Please help

Hi Annon.

It is was very good that you were able to come out to the people you already have so quickly. Many people struggle for a much longer time. You seem to be in a good position as you are and only really need to come out to more people when you are truly ready.

The only thing that I would recommend is to not come out to more people unless you feel that you would be able to handle it if everyone knew. We can try to only let those who we trust find out, but once its out there we really dont have much control. So it would be better to wait until you are confortable enough with yourself that you wouldnt care who knows. If you already are, than that is amazing. Its just something to keep in mind.

There, indeed, are many people on this site who are/have gone through the same things you are, and many will be willing to give support and advice whenever you need it. So, Welcome

 

Hi and welcome EC

I may not be the best person to give advice since I'm not out, but I agree with Gen that coming out to others is not a good idea unless you're comfortable with everyone knowing. Unfortunately some people don't know how to keep their mouths shut and will tell other about your sexuality. I know of a few horror stories from the public high school in my home town of that happening, though they probably got off better there than if they had been at the Catholic school I went to, so just food for thought.

I think it's awesome that you were able to come out to your mom and she supports you I wish that my parents would be supportive, but I've tried coming out to my mom and it didn't go well. Good luck and keep posing on here, it really does help.

 

Hey, and welcome! :icon_bigg

I'm not the best of giving advice but I'll try my best - don't tell others that you don't trust and that you know can't keep their mouths shut. Tell people that you know you can trust. And tell those you know that can handle it. Come out when you feel comfortable

I told my mom that I might be gay or bisexual, and that I was questioning, because I wanted to have someone to talk about it with. She took it great and my dad knows too and he's fine with it (and he told me once he didn't exactly agree with the "homosexual lifestyle"). But I haven't told my siblings because I don't feel comfortable telling them yet and my parents agreed that they wouldn't say anything.

Good luck!

 

Well if you have a bad feeling about telling you friends than I wouldnt do it just yet. It doesnt seem like they were being very mature with your other friend. There no rush, just wait until you think its a good time.

About your father, your right he may not accept it. It would be wonderful if he did, but you have be strong enough to know that even if he doesnt, there is still nothing wrong with you. Many parents that take it rough do eventually come around, but if they dont than that is their loss in missing out on their child's life.

 

I'm confused.

You've asked for advice (indicating there's a problem), but I'm not sure what exactly the problem IS, or what advice is being sought. Is being bi itself the problem?

 

Well, its hard to say much. You seem to have it pretty good overall. I mean your dad is certainly a problem. I'm hopeful he'll eventually come around if/when you tell him and he realizes how much he's hurting you. Your friend who you might have feelings for is a potential problem that you might want to tiptoe around. That could be quite an entanglement, depending on how he feels about all this. I'm also not quite sure how accepting your schoolmates are. I'm guessing not.

On the other hand, you're okay with yourself. You have your mom and her boyfriend who are accepting of you. You also have a counselor and friend who are standing in your corner. Some might say you have it made.

I guess my advice would be to simply BE. Get out there and live your life. Enjoy it. Don't dwell on your sexuality and it will be a non-issue.

 

Hi, congratulations on getting the courage to tell people, and I'm glad that you've had such an amazingly supportive mother to help you through it, you're incredibly lucky.

You mentioned that one of your best friends has come out as bi, are you out to him? If you feel you can trust him not to tell anyone if you ask him not to then I think it would be good to have someone you can talk to of your own age as well.

Best of luck.

 

Hello and welcome to ec! Im glad you were able to come out so quickly. Your dad probably would accept you over time, but if hes as homophobic as you say it might take time, hopefully it would change his views at the very least. Just remember, don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with.

 

Dear Annon,

Congratulations on having the courage to come out to people. I understand it can be incredibly tough coming out and accepting who you are, so props to you. Also, I'm so happy your mother is so supportive of you. I read the other thread she made and can tell you she is an amazing woman.

I also go to an all boys school, so that's one thing that we both relate in. I wonder if there is a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) at your school. I know there is one at mine and I plan on joining it when it opens up and meetings start. I have been told that through it you can get some great support and make some good allies in the case of bullying or harassment based on your sexual orientation. Another thing you could do at your school is to talk to the deans. They can keep a watchful eye and make sure no one harasses you and if they do then the deans can take care of it right away. I know at my school there is no tolerance for harassment of any kind, especially based on sexual orientation. This surprised me because I didn't realize how open my school was to gays because it is a Catholic school. I guess times are changing now.

Good luck to you on your high school journey and I do hope everything goes well. If you have any further questions, I have no problem answering them.

Have a lovely day,

Mattis Veneficus