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Its been two years and I still cant get over him

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by JackAttack, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. JackAttack

    JackAttack Guest

    Hi im new here as iv just started to accept that im possibly bi. I would be very grateful if anyone could help me with this.

    During my time at college I was good friends with this guy, who was also really my only friend at the time. I knew him for two years and as time went on my feelings for him got stronger and stronger. I would always get jealous when he would speak to someone else, got that butterfly feeling when I looked into his eyes and I would always check him out when I got the chance (hopefully he didnt notice haha). However as time went on our friendship got worse for some reason and we started to talk less and he got annoyed with me a lot. He changed a lot after he got a new job and I was going through a depression problem at the time which he didn't know about.

    Another problem is I question his sexuality which makes the situation worse. He never seemed that interested in girls and I sometimes noticed him looking at other guys. Quite a few times he got all nervous when he saw me and some others getting changed for PE (gym class) and starred at my underwear a few times. He once looked at my crotch and back up to my face with a smile. We were both quite shy and I never had the nerve to say anything.

    We then went to different unis and have not spoken for two years, but I keep on looking at his facebook, which I know is stalking and wrong but cant stop even after deleting him and several attempts of blocking. Iv tried messaging him and sent him birthday messages but got no response. This and the fact that he has made new friends and has seem to have forgotten about me really hurts.

    Now I just want to stop feeling like this, forget him and move on. Can anyone please help?
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    First, Welcome :slight_smile:.

    It does seem like you fell for him pretty hard. Many people here have suffered similar situations, so your definitely not alone.

    It could be that he was attracted to guys, but not knowing for sure seems like a mute point now. It is not right that he hasnt responded to any of your advances, but thats just a signal that its best to move on. I know you want to just stop these feelings, but they wont go away just like that. There isnt a process to assist it either, it just takes time. But I can assure you it will pass, and the change may occur faster than you had thought. However, it does help to go out there and be more social and open with friends, and even other possible guys if you can.

    There will be bigger and better love interests in the future. It just takes some time. (*hug*)
     
  3. rg93

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    First off, I know the feel, friend. I've been there too :frowning2:

    So it seems that he is kind of ignoring you and he might have, as you said, moved on and found new friends. Yes it hurts. Do you have no other means of contact? Cellphone/Telephone Number? If yes you should try calling him, maybe (no reference intended :slight_smile: ).

    If not then I'm afraid that you will have to try to get over him as well. But by doing this you probably should stop stalking him on Facebook (even though it's kinda fun :grin: ) but every time you do it, you remind yourself of him.

    Try and find some way to draw your attention away, especially when you spend time on your PC, where you are likely to find your way to his Facebook. (I'm a Gamer, so in my case it's video games, but maybe you would watch a movie or a series?) With a little luck, after a while you'll forget all about him.

    I hope you feel better soon, good luck! (*hug*)
     
  4. JackAttack

    JackAttack Guest

    Cheers for the replies. Yh it does seem like he has moved on and I guess I just need to try harder to do the same.

    Thanks again guys