Coworker's wedding

[Pinstripe]

So my coworker invited me to her wedding, and I'd really like to go. But I don't really want to go by myself, seeing as I won't know anyone, except my other coworkers. Thing is, I don't think I could bring my girlfriend as a date because I'm not out at work. I'd like to be eventually, though. For those who are, how did you go about doing that? I have considered bringing my girlfriend to the company Christmas party. Most of my coworkers are from a different generation, so I really don't know how that's going to go.

I'll probably just end up going alone. I don't really know the bride's family. I suppose I could just ask her if bringing my girlfriend is ok, but that would involve coming out to her. I just don't know.

[Lance]

What reservations do you have about not wanting to come out to your coworker?

[Gravity]

I'd say there are a variety of things you could do here. You could just not go to the wedding, if you think it will force you to compromise yourself and feel awkward. You could also just bring your girlfriend and explain nothing to anyone - it's not like they'll be interrogating people for gayness at the door, right? Asking permission is also a possibility, and I've done this in the past, but the only thing I don't like about it is the implicit assumption that you (or I, when it was me) might be doing something wrong. Rather than asking, if you wanted to have a conversation, you could just let her know that your girlfriend will be there with you. If she really doesn't want that, it can be her business to respond and say so.

On the other hand, it sounds like you maybe have an idea that it wouldn't be so bad to come out - which I'm assuming from the fact that you were already thinking about taking your girlfriend to a work-related event (the christmas party). Different generations might make a difference, but it's not only the 20-somethings who are in support of gay rights and such - heck, it's not only the 20-somethings who are gay in the first place. This could be a great chance to start talking to a co-worker. I'm also out at work, and while I didn't have any reason to think that it would go badly, exactly, once I started talking to people it went a lot better than I thought it would.