I am a 30 year old woman. I have two young children, and I am coming out of an excruciating 10 year straight marriage. Last year I befriended and amazing human being that happens to be a gay man. He has moved away, and I am deeply mourning his absence. Before he left he introduced me to his best friend of 6 years. She is a 36 year old lesbian woman. We have become very close and in the past week I have either spoke to her every day or been with her. I cannot stop thinking about her! I am SOOO confused! I don’t have sexual fantasies about her, but I do want to be wrapped up in her arms so badly! I want to caress her face, snuggle with her on the couch,…. She is amazing! She has her master’s degree, obviously very intelligent, the most beautiful smile and infectious laugh, and most importantly, she intimidates the hell out of me. I have a very strong willed and dominant personality; therefore, I have never met anyone that makes me feel this way. Around her I feel shy and much like a teenager going on her first date. Furthermore, she is better with my children than their father ever will be. Is it possible to be straight but just happen to fall in love with someone of the same sex? I don’t find other women appealing, just her. But I have no idea how to proceed. Should I pursue this, or is this possibly just my need to make up for a loveless marriage? However, I am not sure that I feel the need to. It’s not as if I am out frequenting the bars, on the hunt for a replacement. I would be COMPLETELY content being single and focusing on my children. I am not a needy person. Actually I tend to seek out needy partners. She is like me: not needy, independent. . . I just didn’t expect to feel this way about anyone during this crisis in my life, especially not a woman. My head is telling me this is wrong wrong wrong!!!!But the thought of her makes me so happy. My biggest problem is whether or not I am good for her. I’m a major risk, a gamble. We are at an age that warrants more caution, and she has made it clear that she is ready to return home. Home happens to be 1500 miles away. I am bound where I am. I have children and those that love them as much as I do that live here. Do I continue with this. . . whatever it may evolve into, or walk away. PLEASE HELP
It sounds like you need to just keep it as is, keep seeing her as a friend and let these emotions run there course. I think it would be easy to get caught up with 'I love her so I must be a lesbian', maybe you are a little confused/vulnerable. I personally wouldn't jump into straight away (at least thats not what I did) and figure things out for yourself. Eventually you might realise that the feelings are still there and you like women, at that point it will have been a considered decision and will probably freak you out a little less! There is nothing wrong with liking people from the same sex, it just took you a little longer to figure it out. Either way you'll either have a new girlfriend or realise it was a fleeting crush. However, dont worry whether your right for her, make up your own mind first - one bridge at a time! hope that makes sense, and good luck!
There are many people who discover their sexuality later in life. It sounds to me like you have a crush on her, have you ever felt this way about a man?
This is such a fantastic story; in the sense that there is nothing as beautiful as falling head over heels for someone,especially if you are sure the person feels the same way. But my advice is you really need to take into consideration if such actions will not affect the attention you require for your children. This is because your children are the greatest assets you have in Life. They are your special gifts. They are and will always be your best friends;so consider first, if it wont affect the relationship and time you should devote them, then no stress. Is she a married Lesbian? Pls do let us know how things unfold. cheers TalkDTalk
Thank you all for your advice! I really appreciate it. @Talk, no she is not married. She has been out since college and is very proud of her sexual orientation. @ Aldrick, I dont know if I have ever felt this depth with a man before. So much has changed since i wrote my cry for help. We have evolved into something I have never felt before. Apparently she was as conflicted with her wanting for me as I was for her. She is absolutely amazing, and I know we have a long future ahead of us. However, for now we are going to take this as slowly as possible until we see how everything is going to affect my children. We have made it known to most people in our circle. I never knew I could be this happy.
