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I really WANT to fight with my ex.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by sol4r, Aug 17, 2012.

  1. sol4r

    sol4r Guest

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    Recently, my first "real" girlfriend broke up with me. On the surface, I guess it was sort of the breakup everyone wants: she and I didn't fight, we stayed friends, we didn't make it really dramatic. And for a few weeks, I was happy with that.
    But now, I'm starting to get kind of ticked. I mean, I was in love with her. We spent tons of time together, gave eachother presents, kissed, cuddled, and had a pretty great relationship. It felt really right and I wanted to be with her for a really long time.
    It feels like she didn't even care about me at all, like she never wanted to work things out, like our relationship meant nothing at all and now she gets to go just cavorting about being happy and carrying on like nothing ever happened while I'm heartbroken and I just.... I REALLY WANT TO FIGHT WITH HER. I want her to be angry with me, I want to be able to be angry at her without feeling bad, I want us to feel awkward for a while, I want to FIGHT and let her know that she actually meant something to me, even if I didn't to her. I just, I'm really heartbroken, but I've felt really rushed to just move on like nothing happened because that's what she's been doing. But I'm not ready to, and I really don't want to be the token "psycho ex" that just can't get over their exes within a reasonable time frame.
    It just meant a lot to me, our relationship did, and I really wish everyone wouldn't act like it never happened at all.
    I'm really angry and sad and heartbroken and she's just kind of..."meh".
    I've started taking out my anger on others, and actually punched my friend earlier because I was really frustrated and he got on my bad side.
    I really hate feeling like this, but I don't know how not to.
    How do I just get over her without being a dick about it?
     
  2. Aria

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    Well, I'll offer you a little insight into what might be in her head because she sounds like she acts like I do when I break up with someone. I'm never happy after a break up, unless the relationship lasted only a few months. However, exes always get very irate with me after breakups because of how I act.

    When I'm out in public with friends or in general, I don't like showing negative feelings. I focus more on having a good time, and if someone decides to approach me with drama or anything of the sort, I will shrug it off and act like I don't care even though I do.

    I guarantee you if you were as close as you say you were, she's not just forgetting it. She probably just doesn't want to act miserable all the time.

    The only real advice I can give you is just calm down and maybe take a page for her book. Don't let your feelings overwhelm you and try to redirect it into positive energy. If you really have an issue with her, then the best thing you can do? Confront her in a non-aggressive manner and tell her how you feel. Don't fight her, and don't do it in public. Ask to talk to her and let it out.
     
  3. sol4r

    sol4r Guest

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    Aah thank you. And honestly, I hate to give off the impression that I'm horrifically violent, because I'm truly not. It's not me or something I believe in, but sometimes it just kind of happens. Not often though. Thanks for the insight though, I just really got frustrated and aah that sounds like a good idea.
     
  4. Gravity

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    I don't think it makes you violent, I think that anger is just a natural emotion to feel during the process of a breakup. It's possible that a fight with her might help channel this for you, but if it's a choice you can make and not a situation you suddenly find yourself in, there might be other ways to deal with it more effectively. How many people have you talked to about the breakup so far? And do you ever have full conversations about it, or have you just mentioned it?