So, I'm a guy, and I turn 17 in a few weeks. I consider myself 100% homosexual. I want to have sex with guys exclusively. When I was still closeted, I made up crushes on girls and tried to imagine something happening. although the thought of that was pretty gross to me. I was only ever turned on by guys. However, I don't think I've ever had a real crush on a guy. I think I may have had some feelings for another guy, but we were friends and I strongly suspected (and still do) that he was gay. I think I may have just been excited by the idea of a possible relationship with another boy, but I'm not totally sure. Maybe I'm just not interested in the guys I know, but I just find it kind of weird that I've never had a true crush. I do desire a relationship (both romantic and sexual) with another man. Do I belong to some weird sub-group of humans who are unable to experience romantic attraction? I'm not really sure what the point of this post is... It's something I've been thinking about for a while now and I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Has anyone else ever felt this way?
I've had two 'proper' crushes, and they've only been in the last two years, so I was 18+ for both. Before then there were guys that piqued my interest relationship-wise, but I wouldn't classify them as crushes.
No, you don't belong to some weird sub-group of humans. When I was your age, I was crushing on every other guy I saw. All it would take would be a few compliments and a kind word, and I'd be swooning. This actually wasn't a good thing, because as I got older I realized this always happens to me when I'm very lonely and have extremely low self-esteem. Which was DEFINITELY the case when I was your age. The constant crushes were natures way of trying to force me to make a connection with other people. The older I got, the more comfortable I became with myself, the less this happened. I have no where near as many crushes as in the past, and honestly I haven't experienced a super-strong crush for a very long time. I can become infatuated with someone physically or sexually, but that's different than developing a crush. Now, I guess with maturity, when I develop a crush it's normally after I get to know someone. I become attracted to the person over time, and my feelings seem to grow. When I was a teenager my crushes were along the lines of: "Oh my god, Billy brushed up against me in the hallway and smiled at me... at least I think it was me. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's so beautiful. I love him. I hope he brushes against me tomorrow. I'd do anything for him to touch me or pay attention to me. Oh, Billy you're so amazing and super awesome. I love you. I'd die for you. Just tell me what you want Billy and I'll make it happen." That isn't really what I'd define as a crush now, I'd call that being desperate for affection and attention. So, in my opinion, it's a good thing that you don't experience that, because like I said for me it came from being extremely lonely and my very low self-esteem. You probably are just similar to the way that I am right now, your feelings for a person likely grow with time as you get to know them.
i can relate. although im female but still. just cuz youre gay doesnt mean you have to find every guy attractive, people have different likes/dislikes. some people can think someone is attractive by looking at them instantly, others its more about who they are and getting to know them attractive. there are diff levels of attraction. dont worry, youre normal
I think I've had a total of one crush, total, in my life. I mean, I've passively looked at other guys and contemplated getting into a relationship with them (or contemplated getting into their pants). But I didn't do the thing where you sigh, and draw hearts with your initials inside them on your notebooks, or get all flustered when they drew near. On a positive note, the one time it happened, it was with another gay guy. On a negative note, the guy wasn't interested. So no, don't worry about it. I can't speak for everyone, of course, but I'm actually quite happy that I ended up not being "crush-happy". Lex
I have never had a real crush on a guy either. I always think of guys as possible friends first rather than romantic interests. I also subconciously assume everyone i meet is straight unless its obvious.
See, I keep having crushes on obviously straight guys. It's a terrible thing. I wouldn't worry about it!
