Hello to everyone/anyone who stumbles upon this, So this May i pretty much 'came out' to myself whilst still at university. I'm 22 and have never done anything with another guy and feel that being gay is still just a theory/idea for me. I came out to a very close friend at University who comes from a very liberal and open family. She's always been around gay people, has gay godparents and has been extremely supportive to me, but her openess couldnt be more different than my own. My family is very traditional and fairly conservative (in the UK sense), so they really think thay being gay is just what 'other' people do, it dosent concern them because they dont know any gay people. So my parents experience is exactly my own frankly, and now im dealing with all of my own prejudice/ past homophobia ( not that i have ever been offensive to anyone, just generally scared of the idea of being gay, as i was bullied for it whilst at school and so of course desperately did not want it to be true). Now my dilemma is that my good friend is encouraging me to firstly come out to all of my 9 housemates next year and secondly to think about going to an LGBT coffee morning and of course a 'casual drink' at a gay pub. Now, whilst some days i would rather face facts and accept who i am, i still have this horrid feeling that i dont need to deal with being gay. Im quite a reserved person and have self esteem issues so the idea of suddenly becoming the centre of attention or putting myself forward at the LGBT society is just terrifying. I cannot deny how wonderful my friend has been and will continue to be, but i dont think she realises how completely different our perpspectives are about my situation. I also realise that its actually all up to me to decide how i take things but im awful for putting things off. As i said, for me at the moment being gay is just an idea, just a glance at a good looking guy, nothing more. So i suppose what im trying to say is do i take all my friend's wonderfully liberal advice and pursue things which i would like to do but at the same time it makes a reality and daunting??? Any response is much appreciated x
Well if you would like to do those things then why not? And just beacuse your gay or you think your gay doesn't mean you have to become the centre of attention and put yourself forward at the LGBT society. Just do what you feel comfortable with.
If you're uncomfortable doing something, then don't do it. I also don't think it's necessary to come out to your 9 housemates, especially if you aren't very close to any of them. As for going to an LGBT coffee thing or gay pub, that might be a good idea because then it lets you meet people similar to yourself and make you feel more comfortable.
thanks for your thoughts. with the house mates i should've elaborated; we're all really good mates and i think it wouldn't come as a complete shock to them, i mean its not like im the one always bringing a girl back! The things is, as soon as i say it to them, i'm sure to get an enquiry from them all. Is there any point telling them seeing as i haven't yet had a 'validating experience?'
