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Feeling really self conscious

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jared, Aug 18, 2012.

  1. Jared

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    I feel like I'm way too self conscious, every time I look in the mirror I always find something about my appearance that I don't like. Usually I feel like I'm way too fat, I'm 6'3 and 200 lbs. During the past school year I lost 50 lbs and since school got out I've lost another 15 lbs, but it seems like the more weight I lose the more self conscious I get and the fatter I feel. I also really hate the bad stretch marks and acne scars that I have on my back, I get nauseous if I see them in the mirror and wish I didn't have them. I have trouble believing people tell me I'm good looking or that I look thinner since losing the weight. Sorry if I'm whining, I just needed to tell someone.
     
    #1 Jared, Aug 18, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2012
  2. paul

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    6'3 and 135 pounds--sounds pretty fit to me. Obviously it must be all mental and you may feel like you are 200 pounds even though you aren't. The bacne (back acne) is easily treatable, go see a dermatologist. If that is not option (possibly financial), stay hydrated and shower twice a day.
    Best of Luck
    Paul
     
  3. Jared

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    135 lbs I wish, though at 6'3 that would probably be really unhealthy. I'm 200 right now, I was 265 a year ago. I don't have too much acne on my back anymore, it's just scars from when I had it a few years ago.
     
  4. pinklov3ly

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    Same here! I am the most self conscious person ever :tears: Congratulations on losing the weight, it's not easy, I would know because I've been losing and gaining weight over the past four years. I have stretch marks, but they're not as visible as they were before. I use cocoa butter, which helped a lot. You know no one is perfect, we all have flaws and I'm fine with admitting them. I hate smiling and showing my teeth because I didn't wear my retainers like my orthodontist told me too. So, my teeth are a little crooked again :grin:

    I don't dwell on the things I cannot change instead I work on the things that I do have some control over, like, eating healthy and exercising. You are a good looking guy, btw :icon_wink
     
  5. Gen

    Gen
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    Than why are you puting yourself down? Two hundred pounds at 6'3 is not fat at all. Your acne is starting to clear up. It seems like if anything things are improving and you should learn to support and love yourself in how far you have come. We all can pick out flaws when we see ourselfs in the mirror, but if we dont give ourselfs credit for the things that are beautiful about us than it would drive us all nauseous. You can dwell on what you dont like about yourself, as they say, you have to work with what you got (*hug*)
     
  6. ForceAndVerve

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    Well...based off the pics on your profile page, I wouldn't say you were overweight at all. Also, I would kill to have your electric blue eyes! :icon_redf

    You need to start believing those people. :icon_wink
     
  7. Aria

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    You are insanely attractive, and if I were into men, I would do a 180 if you passed me.
     
  8. Gen

    Gen
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    Wait! I hadnt even realized that you had another picture on here. I would like to add that, no Sir, I cannot allow you to believe that you are overweight or unattractive.

    I Simply Wont Allow it >:C
     
  9. Neph

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    If the scars really bother you, try getting some cocoa butter. Does wonders for reducing their visibility. Also helps stretch marks, if I recall. Just apply it once a day for a few months and you'll notice a difference.
     
  10. stephenjack

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    Stop this is me! I feel the same way all the time but then i say to myself that i DO look good and presentable and that usually doesnt work so i just say f*** it people will have to deal with it and then laugh. Thats my stupid way but pauls right to see and dermatologist its normal so many people do. (And coming from a stranger)i dont want to sound creepy but youre actually hot in your profile picture and im not just saying that to make you feel better. :slight_smile:
     
  11. Akatosh

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    Hey bud, you are just where you need to be. I'm 6'4", 200 lbs and have very little fat on my body. If you are eating and exercising right, then there's no need for you to worry. I, also, am very self-conscious about my looks, and I develop serious OCD issues with things I find wrong. When I look back at photos from years ago, I can remember what I obsessed about at the time, and it's not evident to me anymore. Meaning, it's all in your head. You need to congratulate yourself on improving your health, and continue to build your self-esteem. You have to let yourself accept imperfections (I still struggle with this, but it has helped get over obsessions).
     
  12. AshenAngel

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    Cocoa butter or a diluted tea tree oil work really well for acne scars. I use Bio-Oil for my stretch marks, and so far its working well. As for the other bit... You're smart, you're healthy, and you're certainly not an ugly person. You don't need to put yourself down like that.(*hug*)
     
  13. Hiems

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    First of all, congrats on losing that weight. You should give yourself a pat on the back for doing so :slight_smile:

    To echo the others, you look great! You have blue eyes and dimples... I go nuts for people who have dimples! xD
     
  14. Jared

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    Thanks guys, you all are awesome :slight_smile: I'll try the cocoa butter for my scars. I think part of the reason I'm so self conscious is that I have really bad self esteem, which is one of the many reasons I'm seeing a therapist. I know that I need to quit putting myself down, but I'm not sure how to stop, I've been doing it for a long time, curse bad habits.
     
  15. BudderMC

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    It sounds stupid, but I'd suggest that you stop looking at the "numbers" when you're judging how good you look. Like people have already said, 200lbs at 6'3'' is very reasonable, and your pictures show that you're looking pretty good. I also lost a lot of weight over the last couple years, and I still feel really self-conscious (though I know that there are parts of me that are actually unattractive, not subjectively unattractive). But it's important to keep in mind how good you feel now relative to how bad you felt before. That's where the difference really shines. I've still got a ways to go, and when I'm feeling down I try and remind myself what things would be like if I was still as unhappy with myself today.

    And if you can own that confidence boost, that's one of the most attractive things anyone can have. :slight_smile:
     
  16. shy

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    I guess repeating that you really don't have to worry about the way you look isn't much use, but still: you do look very handsome.

    about your acne: scars eventually will disappear (I had enough to tell that, one was about 10 cm) and watching the nurrition (not too much fat/oil/butter...) helps a lot. I even changed my sunprotection from creme to gelfluid (wich contains no fat, I get acne only because of creme).