I think I'm in love, sssh nobody can know

Do you have any reason to think your friend might be interested in guys?

Does he know that you do?

The first thing, if you want anything to progress, would be to tell him that you are bisexual. It's best to do that first, and see how he reacts to that for a while before telling him your feelings about him.


I think you will be happier if you let yourself find a partner you love, and build the life you want with that person. It would be very sad if you ended a loving relationship some day just because you have this preconceived idea that you should marry a woman. You can have a family with a man.

Same-sex relationships are not "just fun," they are, or at least they can be, full and loving, meaningful relationships. The way you feel about your friend is not "just fun" it is a romantic crush as significant as any straight person's crush. Your feelings for him are not just sexual, but romantic.

 

I've been through that same experience. But I never thought about getting a wife at the time. You can still get married (at least some places) if your partner is another guy. In fact, you could even adopt kids. I say go for it. If someone does bully you, you can (and SHOULD) report them. I mean, bullying is not tolerated anywhere, so you really shouldn't worry about it. And gay relationships can still be loving instead of sexual. Heck, I would prefer romance. Just follow your heart. That's the best advice I could give.

 

You are thinking way too much into the future. There are somethings in life that you just can't plan, so relax.

Sure, you could plan for your career, where you will want to live, what kind of lifestyle you will have, and then start taking action towards achieving them right now.

But wife and kids are not toys or market investments, you can't make plans for acquiring specific people to become your spouse into your life; and the specificity isn't restrictive, it can be expanded to mean that it applies to something as broad as the gender of the person whom you one day will suddenly be wanting to make the commitment of marriage to.

And drawing a map of wherever you can't possibly have control over is what is draining your emotions right now. Some people like to fantasize about what they want, and for some people, fantasizing causes depression because they like to think ahead and want things but they can't have it.

In order to take back control of your life, you seem to need the latter option, stop fantasizing, stop laying out a map in front of you that goes way into the future that you can't control, and just enjoy the now and the near future and do things that are pleasing and make you happy right now.

 

Annon, it is so interesting to see how so familiar a story can just be like mine.
Judging from your age, I would advice that you try and take things very easy, because you have a whole long way to go in your bright future.

I am in my mid 30’s so I will be on a stronger platform to express myself in this area.
Everything you have narrated is so shockingly duplicated to mine. I am pleasantly surprised about this, and am kinda excited that people can share this similar view on a very loving site such as EC where everyone tries to find solutions to your problems. Its a family!

I am beginning to accept that I could be Bi. Not becos I have had anything to do with any man (irrespective of my age), but I day-dream about romancing this particular cute, slender, sexy-looking chap.

He has all the cute looks of a chic. I keep rehearsing when I will tell him that, “the only reason which I cant marry you is becos you are a man; otherwise, everything I need in a man, you have it.”

I keep finding it hard to see him as a man; all I see is an attractive person who even beats the attraction of a lady(thats how I see him).

Annon, I have had sleepless nights over this guy since January this year that I met him.
He’s so unique, doesn’t care too much about interacting with people, doesn’t care much about ladies, infact, you never see him with Ladies, very reserved and talks very little.

I just had to find a way of knowing him asap; which I eventually succeeded and therefore brought him so close, bought him gifts, took him on a ride round town, accompanied me to occasions, just like a girl friend, but he never knew I was dying for him (at least he never showed me), he just felt I liked him.

When I knew I was just fooling around for too long, I started playing with his body with style like touching his waist, resting my alms on him, my head on his shoulders, you know, doin some little familiar things; all in a bid to pass the signal gradually.

This was until last week, I cudnt hold it any longer, I decided to come out.....


.................................unfortunately



..............................it backfired.




This was what happened.






Just 2 weeks ago, he told me he will be travelling back to another state where his parents live, to start a new career.

I was worried & terrified to hear that. I told him”so you wanna leave me all alone in this city?”And he goes, “no, the bills are quite much to pay here, and my current job cant pick them all up”

This was what necessitated my making a fast move….....................


A day before his departure, I invited him to my office, in which he promised to come.Afterwards he called me from the market where he went to do some shopping, to plead with me, that it was getting late in the evening; whether he could just go home and prepare for his trip the next day,as he was very tired.

But I insisted he should come over for us to see again.And he graciously honoured me.

We talked about everything -business, life, government, current affairs, church etc before I now advised myself to make the move.

After much long talk, jokes and teases, I had to tell myself that it is now time to make a move.

So I went close to him and asked if I could kiss him.

what I cudnot understand is that, when i asked him if i could kiss him, he just started laughing with some kind of amazement.

He didnt say no or yes.
then I told him that my ex-girlfriend is no more with me.

He said, "then go back and look for her"

When I moved closer to him to kiss, he shifted his face away and asked me, 'can we start going home?'

At that point, I felt the game was over, I was in trouble with him.

Then I held his 2 hands and got him up from his seat; tried again, he just embraced me; then I decided to start explaining how much I had always appreciated him like a childhood friend, which he said ,'same here', and that we should continue to remain close. then we hugged twice. And everything went back to normal.

He told me to drop him at the house of another friend very close to his house. Actually it was through that friend that I knew him.

I was emotionally drained.I could not sleep that night.

I called him the next day to wish him safe journey, and he thanked me and said bye.



Ever since then, he has never called me again. This is going to the 2nd week.

I worry all night & day why he didn’t have the same affection I was having for him.

And I am very surprised he did not love me the same way.

I was so sure he was attracted to me; or I wanted to believe so.

He always used to call me to say hi every week. But with this, it just got dashed, so I have been so depressed.

I got a lot of useful advice from wonderful people here in EC, but it has still been so hard for me to move on.

Do you think he will still keep my friendship?

My advice to you is to be very careful.

The day you want to come out to this guy, take him on a beautiful outing, ensure that he is so happy and excited with you, or do this for a couple of days, then find a day to tell him what you feel about him.

Sure we belong to the same school of thought in every ambition you have put for a family.Mine is just experimenting.

We are very ready to follow you up on the progress daily.

Keep us posted on the latest.

Cheers


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