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Long Distance Relationship Tips?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ruethel, Aug 19, 2012.

  1. Ruethel

    Ruethel Guest

    Ok, so I'm jumping for joy because a great friend of mine (the first person I ever told about my feelings for men) asked me out today. He told me how his heart just raced thinking about telling me, and thankfully he worked up the courage to do so.

    He's funny, nice, a little on the quiet side, and sometimes hard to converse with, but when he said he had feelings for me my heart skipped a beat.

    He lives quite a ways from me though (like multiple states away), and I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there who is also in a long-distance relationship that could offer some advice on the matter.

    We're not entirely sure where to go with it, since neither of us have really been in any sort of long-term relationship before, and the idea of a long-distance relationship is really foreign to us. I really want this to work out, so I want to make sure I don't make any big-time mistakes and do the best I can to keep things afloat.
     
  2. im not sure what states are haha cuz im not in the us. but here in the uk..... ill assume its like towns.

    my ex lived 3 hours from me and we had a relationship for almost a year, the distance wasnt the killer in the end so it can work provided you meet each other half way, sometimes literally but sometimes in other ways.

    ldrs suit me more because i can have my own life outside of my relationship i hate being wrapped up 24/7 in/with someone who lives in the same town, drives me nuts.
    you will get really sad/mad sometimes cuz you might just want a hug but you cant have one. communicate as often as you can via skype or whatever. aslong as you keep talkig your relationship wont die out because youre miles apart.

    meeting each other can be tricky sometimes if you work e.t.c and having to fit it all in.
    meet halfway, if money is an issue that way you both will be spending to see eah other. then you can meet at one anothers town but alternate it every time. if you have the money. if you dont have the money just be honest and you can save up and meet another time.

    but there is not secret to maing an ldr work apart from just communicating a lot.

    ive made a mistake where i met up with my now ex and we stayed in a hotel, but i paid for everything because she didnt have the money but yet she said she would pay me when we met up, lucky i bought extra lol. didnt even tell me she didnt have the money before we met so i was so broke for that month. we broke up after that cuz i couldnt support her and myself lol.
     
  3. rg93

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    Yes, long distance relationships can be quite tricky, because of trust and all. You can talk frequently and maybe even watch movies together online, but you should meet up (either halfway or one visits the other for a few days) maybe once or twice a month, depending on your financial situation.

    And also kinda importent - before you end the meet up, plan your next meeting on a further away(ish) date that suits you best so both of you have somthing to look forward to and not get the sense that you are drifting apart because you never see each other. :slight_smile:

    Good luck to you both!
     
  4. Ryukotsu

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    My bf and I are 1300 miles apart :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: and so far I'm getting that absolute trust and understanding are key to it being successful, and any activity you two can do together is great, skype, play online games, call each other, anything you can do
     
  5. Nobodylikesme

    Regular Member

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    It's not easy, you will suffer with withdraws, can't express yourself physically. You can try to do things like if your an artist do a painting together: one does a section and the other finnish,s it. The more you are away the worst it gets. I've had two I'm on the east coast she was on the west both times. It can be a lot of fun when you see him. Then when you leave the withdraw is horrible!!!!!!! Either deal with it, or move in together! Now I'm possibly going to have another one. I'm asking this girl out today and in two weeks she is moving to Arizona. Im crazy about her and I think she likes me! But I'm stupid!!!
     
  6. Yuri

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    I am in almost the exact same situation. My gf lives over 300 miles away. Of course it gets lonely sometimes but little things do help. Try skyping and calling often. We text everyday and try to find cute little ways to show affection. Try writing letters at time or sending him gifts in the mail without telling him. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. Message me if you need more advice.