I'm really curious when a crush develops into real feelings, and how do I know the difference. I got burned once before when I had a serious crush and thought it was love. I don't want that to happen again just because I found someone I like and who genuinely likes me. I'm a skeptic, and I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't believe you can fall in love in a matter of weeks. However, I do find myself thinking about and wanting to be with the girl I'm seeing all of the time. I just don't know if I'm infatuated or if it's something more. I freaked out when she wanted to call me her girlfriend, but then last night I found myself shopping for Valentine's Cards. We have a date Friday, and I really want to ask her to go to the science center with me and my son Saturday, even though I promised my brother I would take him. Between spending time with my brother and spending time with my girlfriend, the girlfriend wins. I'm thinking I might ask my brother to go with me this weekend and maybe bring up the subject that I'm seeing someone special . . . I'll be sure we take two cars, just in case.
I think a crush is one-way and "real feelings" is two-ways. So if the other person is not interested in you or doesn't know how you feel then, no matter how strong your feelings are, it's a crush or infatuation. Once the attention and feelings are returned, then you can call it love.
i agree with paul, but with the note that you shouldn't become overly invested in your emotions. take the feelings as they are, but don't worry too much about them or let them take over your life.
That is only my opinion though. Others may have a different view. Reading your second paragraph, this certainly seems to be developing into the real thing. This is no one-way thing now. Disregard your preconceptions about "love at first sight" and follow your heart here. She wants to call you her girlfriend, you're thinking of Valentines cards, and you have a date. It all sounds good to me. It's obviously too soon to know whether this will develop into a serious relationship. Take it as it happens and hopefully it'll be great.
I'm really just enjoying this right now and not letting it go too fast. I just didn't know when I had to stop calling it a crush and start using the l word. I bought the card, on a whim, last night. And after I bought it I realized that I did really like her and I wanted to be with her.
*Sings beetles* Do you believe in love at first sight? What do you see when you turn out the lights... Anyways... A crush v.s. true feelings is for me is like this. A crush is the beta version of someone. That's where you see the person, you study the person, and when you try it out it's kinda a good thing. Then as the relationship continues love develops from that. So having a crush is like a trail period, and the longer you stay with that person the more you start to love, then actually love that person. Make sense?
Yes, I understand completely. I think that's sort of what's happening as my girl and I talk and spend time together.
A crush i think is like....i like you your hot but i don't want anything serious with you ....like with a crush you don't see yourself waking up to the same person everyday. It like puppy love and it usually last for a short period of time. So in some time you will be over ur crush but as for true feelings..im guessing love... You see yourself waking up to that person every morning they make you smile and laugh, they just make you feel like the best person in the world and u are so happy with them even if its like just holding hands or being next to each other. When they're gone u get sad and just think of them...My 2 cents lol
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ crushes might not count as "real love" that is true but not all crushes are short lived... i know from personal experiance that crushes can last for an increadably long time.. i would love to wake up next to my crush every morning lol. Catch
I agree. The idea of saying "JUST a crush" seems to belittle what are often very intense feelings over a long period of time. It was a crush when I was about 16 or 17 that caused me to realise (but not accept) my sexuality. This song by Elton John (written by Tom Robinson) was released at this time and reflects well the strength of my feelings at that time. Please listen to the lyrics. [YOUTUBE]R_7LQkSSi1E[/YOUTUBE]
I know crushes aren't short lived. I've had one on my best friend for years, and she knows it. In fact that kind of got in the way of the new relationship because I felt very guilty. My friend and I had agreed to a mutual crush, but she lives 700 miles away, and I'm not in a position to move. And I'd really hate to uproot my life and then things not work out. I finally had to stop living for what could be, and try to live for the now, as in I might not get to move, and even if I visited, I would still be in a long distance relationship. I don't feel guilty now, and I'm enjoying being with the new person.
tayanna, I can tell you this: You WILL know if they are real feelings or not. Because when I met my best friend last year and started hanging out, about a month later he was the only thing I could think about. It was on my mind all the time, at home, in class, etc. I really have real feelings for him and even told him that. You will know if its a crush or not. If your just wondering if it's a crush or if they are real feelings, then it's most likely just a crush because you usually know because you become almost obssessed with him lol. well for my case it did lol. anyways gl.
I don't think that the the feelings have to be mutual for them to be real. I believe in two kinds of love: one kind of love where you are completly head-over-heels for the person and can't get them out of your mind and would do anything to be with them. the other kind is mutual love when the two of you are crazy about each other and want to be around each other all the time. i think when you start becoming extremely attracted to the person and think about them a lot, you can consider it real feelings.
