What are you guys thoughts of the labeling of tops and bottoms

[miguel30454]

Personally im not a big fan of labels

[Mlpguy88]

I think it can be useful in letting someone know what you prefer, but your right in that we don't need to label ourselves if we don't want to.

[whatami]

i dont like when people are labeled tops and bottoms. I think that they are just people and should not be judged by being a "top or bottom" or being thought of lesser then if you were the other. So in conclusion, i am not a big fan of labeling

[miguel30454]

I KNOW RIGHT I AGREE IT CAN BE BUT THEIRS NO NEED FOR IT. i THINK GAY GUYS JUDGE WAY TO MUCH ON WHOS A BOTTOM AND TOP. I HATE HOW PEOPLE USE BOTTOMS INA WAY THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SLAVE INA WAY TO THE TOP ITS LIKE ANNOYING. ITS LIKE WHY CANT EVERYONE JUT BE VERSITILE SO THAT CAN END HAHA

[Gen]

I believe that they are useful. They of course shouldnt be used to stereotype someone out of the bed room. However, their many are people who do fall under one group or the other. Some men dont see the appeal of taking it, some dont see the appeal of giving it. It is all completely preference.


Personally speaking, I am not a picky or selfish person, however, I am pretty much completely unattracted to the ideal of penetrating an oravice of any kind. Its not that I think it dirty or have any bad connatations to it. I do love my 'Johnson' lol, I just do not have the innate male urge to actually put it someone, if I'm making sense. If I was not attracted to men, I would basically have to be asexual, so it definitely isnt a choice. There are also men who are unsensitive to prostate stimulation. So for someone it is something that essentially should be discussed.


EDIT: I didnt see Miguels post until after I posted and refreshed, so it wasnt really based off of your post. Though, I guess in some way it can answer the part about why everyone cannot be versitile. Though I do agree with you on the bad connotations and stereotypes. Those should not be applied to everyone :/.

[brocub]

Don't forget versatile.

As for the answer, personally, I do feel that the label should exist, but there is a lot of stigma against bottoming in the gay community:
-bottoming makes you less of a man
-bottoming means you're the "girl" in the relationship/encounter
-etc.
I mean, unless we all decide to just frot for the rest of our lives, bottoming does have to happen and bottoms should be respected (you should respect anyone you sleep with... in case you didn't realize that)

[Lexington]

It just lets me know what they want to do in the bedroom. I don't consider it anywhere beyond that. I don't think tops are a certain way, and bottoms are a certain way. It's just "this is what they're into sexually'. Kind of like "gay".

I mean, unless we all decide to just frot for the rest of our lives, bottoming does have to happen and bottoms should be respected

i inow what you're getting at here, but even this sort of casts bottoms in a negative light. It sort of suggests that they're performing a public service - that they're "taking one for the team" so that the tops can enjoy them Truth is, innearly every group I've been in, the bottoms outnumber the tops. Sometimes on the order of three or four to one. And it isn't for altruistic reasons. They do it because they fucking love it.

Lex

[sanguine]

I dont really care if you are a top or a bottom, there's nothing wrong by being defined as one, so what if being a bottom makes you the girl, whats wrong with that? might aswell not have sex at all then if people are just gonna be like that.

to get to the point, 'stop comparing sex to hetero normative ways', being a bottom doesnt make you a women because there is no women in a gay relationship (males) same thing can be said in reverse for women.

If it looks like a cow, walks like one, sounds like one, you dont call it a duck, and thats how I approach labels, you say it as it is and dont get sooooo caught up with the context, you shouldnt be caring what other people think anyways.

thats my opinion on labels

[Pret Allez]

It has no value outside of the cruising scene or hookup websites.

[Romi]

Alright. Everything I wanted to say, feel, etc, has pretty much already been covered by everyone that posted before me. But here we go anyway.

I think that labels can be a fun thing sometimes, a way to pick around with a friend or something, helpful even, but they can also be harmful or unhelpful. Wow...what a cracked sentence structure that was. Anyway...point is.

If someone wants to label themselves as a top or a bottom, I don't have a problem with that. That is their own personal choice about themselves, so its fine. But I do not think we should go around labeling other people that way. After all, people's preferences can change depending on situations and whomever else may be involved. They could be a switch, you know.

An example of this comes from my own life. Whenever I'm physically with someone it changes. If that person is a male, I tend to be more of a top. If they are a female, I tend to make myself the submissive. But this is also not that black and white either.

Even as the dominate one, you can still be perceived as the bottom. I wonder if I'm making myself clear...

Hmm...this one relationship I was in. I was very much the dominant one in every way. We were equals as far as we were concerned, but those who looked at s saw me as the dominant one and her as the submissive one. But they weren't privy to our bedroom affairs where she took the reins.


I dunno. I think I've stated rambling...Eh...Maybe I haven't made myself clear at all, but there it is. I just think people should be careful with labels.

[Akatosh]

Since I've only been kissed by a guy one time, I haven't had to worry about these labels. The one guy I briefly dated was about 5'6", and I'm 6'4", and I probably weigh 70 pounds more than him. It was an uncomfortable matchup. I think in situations like that, the larger person almost naturally becomes the top, which I didn't like the idea of being exclusively top. My wish is to find someone who approximately meets my dimensions in order to have a well balanced sex life. IMHO, I think vers-vers is an ideal balance to carry in all parts of the relationship, but what do I know.