5 months ago, i met a nice guy on line who is bisexual. He was looking to meet another nice guy but said in his profile , he is not coming out anytime soon. We both live in London but he is from a very religious traditional background from Valencia, Spain. We have had our ups and downs over the past 5 months and even though it's a short time, we both value each other. When i have gone on holidays, i have called him or emailed him every day. He is now on a 3 week holiday and besides missing him very much, it's also hard to communicate with him because he is at home and there is no internet access at the beach house he is staying. I realize that i have fallen in love with him but need to be patient with his circumstances Is it realistic that this will work. He says he loves me but at times because this is first experience for him having such strong feelings for another man, he tends to get a bit apprehensive. I don't want to get hurt as it seems i am the one feeling a lot more than him at the moment. does anyone have experience with this? Thanks.
Welcome to Empty Closets. It sounds to me that you're more worried that he's not out than that he's bisexual. It's hard to try and see someone who doesn't want to be out. You get no affection in public. No acknowledgment that there's a relationship. You're "friends." This can get taxing. Yes, I think your relationship can work. But I think you should encourage him to come out, because over time, that's what you will need.
I second the motion to persuade him into coming out. I think that bi guys who are out and confident about that side of their sexuality are much better dates than bi guys who want to keep their gay relationships under the table, if you're looking for something romantic and serious. This isn't unfair. It's the same standard I held myself to. I was closeted when I first started dating guys but I was fully willing to out myself if I met someone I cared about.
