How do you deal with homophobia without giving off the impression that you're gay?

[sol4r]

Earlier today, these two really gossipy popular girls in my geometry class were being pretty ignorant and very homophobic towards lesbians right in front of me (I'm not out to most people at my school yet; I mean, I won't deny it, but I don't want TONS of people to know). They were saying a bunch of stuff that made me angry and sad and it kind of made me feel like I was gonna throw up or punch someone or both, but I felt like I couldn't say anything lest they tell everyone I'm gay, and just... I got really upset at myself for not DOING anything.
Like, they were saying stuff like "Girls can't really be gay. They just do it for guys' attention. Guys can be gay and it makes sense because they get bullied but girls just want the attention. Anything a girl can do for you a guy can too, so like, why not just date a guy? I mean seriously, a guy has a REAL penis instead of like a strap on. I don't get why girls decide to become lesbians, I could never do that.", and so on and so forth. They said some other stuff but I tried to stop listening. How do you even stand up for yourself in a situation like that where you REALLY don't want someone to know you're gay but you're really ticked off and want to say something?

[speedboy3]

For me everyone knows that I dont tolerate things like that being said, even if im not out to them yet. You can defend other people without them knowing, just find a reason that you believe in and tell them that thats why you're defending someone. Good luck!

[GTR36]

I have had to do this for many years now.
You can never truely stand against it, without giving away some small hint.
What I try to do is ask questions like, "Why do you feel like that?" or "so, if it's not a choice for boys, why is it a choice for girls?" again, even these open ended questions could raise some doubt.

[Markio]

"That doesn't make any sense, people don't choose to be lesbian."
"Are you a lesbian or something?"
"No, I'm well-informed."

I'm sorry you had to be in that situation. I've been in similar situations and it just sucks. One time I didn't say anything and I felt guilty. The other time I said something and they said I was too sensitive. 9_9 People will be ignorant. It's OK that you didn't know what to say at the moment, it's not all on your shoulders to be the one who speaks up. Just know that there are loads of people who think what they were saying is garbage, and their outspokenness won't automatically change others' minds. What did that even have to do with geometry??

[pinklov3ly]

I've tortured myself by sitting and listening to homophobic slurs, but I've learned to laugh most things off

And I'm talking about grown adults who speak badly about homosexuality and well, because they're ignorant and sadly misinformed. Now, if they were to take the time they spend judging us, they could use that time and educate themselves about our amazing community. I love being gay, I enjoy standing up for what I believe in, but you have to pick and choose your battles wisely. Otherwise, you'll be wasting your time trying to get the people who are against us to see things from our POV.

The next time this happens, rudely...just kidding (casually) interrupt the conversation and be like, ”Perhaps, you should speak a little softer, you never know who can overhear you or who you're offending”, then walk away. I'm sure you're aware that they will not be the first nor the last to speak badly of us, you gotta grow thicker skin. So, that way if it happens again, you could've made some quirky sarcastic joke. It's better to laugh things off than to allow negative comments affect you.