I've known I was gay since I was around 12. I knew it the moment I started thinking other guys in school were good looking and would imagine being with them. I dreamed about holding another guys hand and just being with them. Just to tell you at little about myself, I'm 22 years old and work a very intensive and time consuming profession. I've always been very passionate about working and have held a job since I was 15 years old. Throughout high school, I always chose work over any relationships to help take my mind off the fact that I'm gay. I may have also used it to help conceal the fact that I was gay to my friends and family, but that was never really the direct intention. Now that I think of it, this may be why I choose to work as much as I did. When I turned 17 years old, I joined an "intern" program and starting interning towards the career that I wanted to eventually do. Without giving away any information about what I actually do, lets just say it's very public. When I turned 20 years old, I resigned from my internship and went to training to become what I had always wanted. I graduated and here I stand today, two years later. The problem with this profession is, homosexuals are not widely accepted (more-so than any other profession I've been in). I feel that it will be impossible to ever come out and I will live a miserable life. I feel as if I've mastered the character of a straight acting person and I doubt anyone would ever suspect me as being gay. I know most of you will say "who cares what everyone thinks" and I agree but the fact of the matter is, I do not want to be "that guy" who everyone looks at differently or acts differently around because I'm gay. I've become a very popular and well liked individual and I really don't want to ruin it. I guess this really isn't a support or advice post but, I just felt as if I needed to get something off my chest (even if it's under the anonymity of the internet).:dry:
My simple answer to this VERY complex question. Not everyone HAS to know. Straight people don't walk around broadcasting that fact. Just be you and if they ask, be honest. Pride is the only thing a man is born with and can die with.
That has actually crossed my mind. Here's the next issue, my co-workers have become some of my closest friends and we hang out all the time. Surely if I were to come out, or even just take a step out of the closet, it would spread like a wildfire. I'd imagine you're probably thinking good friends would not spread such a personally protected secret but I understand it is a big one and it would be very difficult for them not to speak of it. I really would not blame them because like I mentioned, it's not easy to keep someone else's secret whether it be by accidentally or intentionally mentioning it.
Why is your profession homophobic? I'm a little confused as to why it would be. Also, friends in your profession shouldn't care. I know you don't want to hear a "who cares what everyone thinks" answer, but you said they are good friends; this little detail about you should have no change on your friendship, and if it does, then you were friends with the wrong people. GTR36 is completely right here though.
Hi omfg223. Welcome to EC. You came to the right place. I think you will find as much support here as you need. Well, I did exactly what you are doing. Why, because of the same reasons that you are, but add in being raised a catholic. I don't know what the answer is for you, only you will be able to figure that out. What I can offer is that you will not be truly happy being in the closet. that's not to say that you have to come out to everyone.......and that being said, it's hard because your friends are your coworkers. Can you change that? Can you develop a circles of friends outside of the coworker friendships. Not everyone has to know everything about you. It's you life and you need to take control of it even as difficult as that might be. I gota say that I have been really surprised at how accepting almost everyone has been.....you also might be surprised. I was around people that made jokes about gay people. They don't anymore. In fact my best friend was pretty upset about all the jokes that had been told over the years. He is still my best friend. Do you have any relatives that you might be able to talk to. If not you might want to think about counseling, it just really helps to talk to someone face to face. For me, I feel as though I wasted most of my life being someone that I am not. I came out later in life after being married for 23 years. Don't get me wrong.....I did have a good life! I got the college education, good career job, nice house on 5 acres, two dogs and a really loving wife. That all changed a little over a year ago when I came out and I do regret not doing it a long time ago. But it's all history. I wish you luck and let us know how you are doing. There are a lot of caring people here.
