:help::helpidk if this is the right forum but oh well) Well I browsing the site for a while and been meaning to do this. For the past 4 months I have been intrusive thoughts regarding the possibility of being gay. Throughout my life I 've been attracted since I was 4 (my first erection came while playing doctor with the neighbors daughter and turned at this time) on by girls, I still get turned on when flirting with girls and being touchy feely or when I think of them. But the thoughts hit me at the worst time. When I m about to get it on with a girl, class, and when I see a good looking guy or a flamboyant gay guy. The severity and graphic-ness has gone down (Though had a gay sex dream in which I woke up like I saw Hitler with a semi ). Im seeing a Psychologist a partaking in CBT. Though effect has been slow but progressive. I told three of my friends (one of them gay) and they all laughed at the idea of me being gay. But I want to get an outside opinion. Ive seen gay porn it usually move in the negative direction ( gets small) while when I see straight and some lesbian porn (Japanese) I get a raging one. So what do you guys think? Thanks btw:help:
thank for you re opinion, i saw all the grammar errors on the original post (sorry broken keyboard). Im really thinking it can be a form of Pure O odc because used thoughts of pedophilia and incest though not at the alarming rate as this. My Psychologist has come short of diagnosing me with this saying it might be the stress from my family life.
It's okay. & I'm glad to help. Well, whatever you're going through EC members & staff's are here to support. ;0 (I've never heard of anything like what you're going through, so I might not be the best person to come to. xD)
Thanks looking forward to talking to more people. Purely Obsessional OCD - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia That's the wiki link, I didnt know such thing existed but as I ve gone through the interwebs I ve seen a lot of people suffering from this A-hole disease
I've read some paragraphs from the links & it's a very interesting disorder. Very insightful. Do you know if it has a cure or medicine?
Just CBT and Xanax but personally not into psychiatry unless necessary. Its just spikes and telling yourself. The sad thing that it can manifest into other things. Like for years I thought I had herpes even though i never had sex (at the time). Though i didnt realize it tilll it started messing around with the number one thing i love. girls.Even that I spent two months with a headache overanalysing scenarios trying to see if it was gay or not (like how I was a homophobe in high school and that was sign, even though politically Ive done a 180). Even though I ve always been turned on by girls. I would nt even want my worst enemy to suffer this. Like right now I "checked" myself with gay porn vs lesbian/straight and got reassurances, but by tomorrow in school Ill see a good looking or gay guy and it restarts.
Well gone to the Phychologist 2 times(3 tomm) I have 9 more appointments before my insurances stops paying. I've read on other forums that it takes weeks. It messes with everything up my sex drive has been down( though slowly recovering) What didnt help neither I went through a porn dependency after my last bad breakup and that has been hard to knock off but step by step you get to Rome as the old saying goes.
